Relavance is key here.

So... I have been at this game for 3 years. Through those years I have tracked my weightloss in every way possible for the most motivation. When I didn't lose pounds (and I was really trying) I could see loss in inches or body fat percentage. I have never (on this blog) posted my complete results from the beginning. If you're a long time reader you know how scared I am to reveal my actual weight (I haven't decided if I will share it yet).

**Sometimes it is hard to be organized and I delete things. I am mad right now that I deleted my 2010 note, which contained all my 2010 (ie. starting) numbers. Hmpf. Richard is working on retrieving it, but its a challenge. Sorry!

***When he is done being cranky he said he would help me.
*** FOUND IT!

As you can witness I am going in the right direction. Yes I lose more through the year, but I always gain a little near the end. I am ok with that because I am human. I indulge when I need too (read: want too). The best part of tracking annually is no matter how crummy you feel it all feels better when you look at the big picture... a hard task, when you caught up on a .5lbs gain.

Another interesting revelation today... I am happy to be 204, even proud of myself. Now that is up 6 pounds from my lowest weight, but I am still had to see the scale declining again. The first time I hit 204 (in early 2011) I celebrated my loss, the second time I hit 204 (in late 2011) I cried a little at my failure, and the third time I'm celebrating. I always find it interesting how the same number can be interpreted in so many ways. I like numbers a lot more on the weigh down, but didn't think I would celebrate them the third time around. I also wonder if any of that rambling made sense.

I am thrilled to have lost 9 inches from last year (even more from 2010 if I could find it!),  29 inches overall and 9% body fat (from 2011-12, because I didn't have a good scale for 2010)... which is awesome! I think I may even be 'overweight' now... not obese. woo! (Another weird reason to celebrate). As for actual weight loss... just over 15 pounds, plus the 25 from 2010 means I am down 40 pounds. Which is awsome. Another 20 to go and I will have to stop writing my blog *sniff* because I will be happy with my weight and not trying to battle the bulge anymore. Although I can't imagine a day when I am not trying to lose weight... its been my thing for 25 years.

Although next years review should be weird... hopefully there will be a bun in my oven, so I can't begin to fathom where my weight will be, but good news is... the blog wil be back in running order to lose the baby weight. Aw... relief.

Ha!

That's it... I will up date with my original stats as soon as I have them.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 19

Blood Type

Let's get interesting... I finally got my donor card in the mail with my blood type on it. I am an exact match to my Dad so even though he doesn't need blood right now, if he ever does I am ready to help.

What blood type am I? AB+. This is the second rarest blood type in the world, with only 2-5% of us having it. It makes me feel very special and I am thrilled that I am the same as Dad. It feels like a little club just for us. I like to be unique and it explains a lot.

"Blood Type AB - Tend to be very charming and popular. They don't sweat the small stuff and can be seen as spiritual and even at times a bit "flaky". Only about 2 - 5% of the population are blood type AB. There is never a dull moment in a AB's life, so if you find one for a friend, consider yourself lucky! You'll enjoy some exciting times together!
Like blood type A's, AB's react to stress poorly. They are stronger and more active than type A's, but need to pay attention to stress levels so that they don't compromise their immunity.
Sometimes it is difficult to be an AB. AB's don't like to fit in anyone else's "boxes". If they feel too confined, they'll break out of that box and do things their own way. When it comes to food choices and AB must discover when they are more B-like or A-like. For example, dairy foods like milk kefir can be excellent for them or not good at all." Sourced

I think I need to do more reading, but I love learning more about me. I have always been amazed by how my body works... and apparently your blood type is the determining factor in a lot of things. In fact, in Japan 90+ percent of people know there blood type and it isn't uncommon to be asked your blood type in an interview or dating scenario.

Richard is A+ I haven't figured out what that means to us, but both of us being '+' means our children will also be positive AND won't have any issues living in my womb. A negative child and a positive mother can clash and cause birthing issues.

That's it... just a quick post to share my new found knowledge. I am going to keep reading, but if you're interested in percentages check out below.

Love!

Blood Type and RH	% of Population
O Positive	38%
O Negative	7%
A Positive	34%
A Negative	6%
B Positive	9%
B Negative	2%
AB Positive	3%
AB Negative	1%

I'm not sick!

YAY! I am finally not sick and actually starting to feel the benefits of this detox.

I feel great. That's it. I have no complaints, other than the mass amounts of work I have to do today.

The only known upset is the fear I am feeling about doing this alone and not being accountable to anyone anymore... based on my benefits package my next visit with Nicole will be my last until the next calendar when I have a new account to empty.

Wish my luck... I am 5 pounds away from my 20-10 resolutions and honestly I never thought I would get there. I am also 5 pounds away from going wedding dress shopping *girly squeal*.

I will keep at it and see what happens... who knows by the ends of next week I could do it.

I am hoping to get to step today... its always a calorie burner and I hope work allows me to go.

Woo!
I have to run!

Love!

Sidenote:

The belt is back... yup the very same belt I mentioned nearly a year ago.

And the pants I am wearing today... the ones I bought 2 years ago, but never fit into. Yup, I am wearing them. Detox isn't all bad ;)

DAY TWO

Things seem to be going well.

I slept like a baby last night and most of this evening. I was in bed by 7:30 and slept until 5:30 this morning. I didn't even move in my sleep. I was in the exact position I fell asleep in.

I also lost 5 pounds. I would attribute that to water weight, but losing those 5 pounds has put me at my lowest weight in 6 months.

Even the gym was different. I was on the elliptical, my standard Monday work-out and I was running through my workout. I was sweating more than ever and it felt incredible easy, even after I turned up the tension.

Could all-natural fuel really be better for my body? An obvious answer, but hard to realize when you're lost in the world of processed food.

I have cheated, not because I wanted to, but because I didn't realize I had. Stupid, I know, but I didn't count my 'oats' as grains. I am only suppose to have 2 grains a day, but yesterday I had 3. I also cheated with my fruits. I was starving and I don't like many vegetables so I had 4 fruits instead of my allotted 2.

Any who... I am off to STEP today, they cancelled my spin class.

I will keep you posted.

Love!

PS - I found a great website and I am excited to say they are very close to my new home... KIND FOOD. The website is full of great articles and intriguing food ideas.

Restart - AGAIN!

I hate myself today.

I hate that I let myself go.

I hate even more that my body is SO dysfunctional that ONE week of not counting every calorie has left me with another 10-pounds to loose.

I hate it.

I hate that the doctors can't find anything wrong, yet I know I am falling apart.

I hate that I have to starve myself and hit the gym 15 times in a week just to MAINTAIN my weight.

I hate that I will never be 'skinny'.

I hate that I want to be 'too skinny'. I want people to talk behind my back about how I have lost TOO much weight. I know it is unhealthy, but I can't stop.

I reach for that chocolate bar and instantly feel disgusted when I eat it, yet I eat it. I over indulge and hate myself for it, but can't stop.

Today I hate a lot of things... and it hurts the most to hate myself.

I am back on the Slim Fast. I need to kick start my body. I need to get moving. I have 20 pounds to loose by the end of the year and for anyone keeping track that is 8 WEEKS! I need to loose MORE than 2 pounds per week consistently for the next 8 weeks. I can't imagine the disappointment I will feel when I have to say Happy New Years as a continued fatty.

I hate that I am starting another year as a fatty. I hate that I hate my body SO much.

Wish me luck. I need to do this for my sanity. It's not even about being healthy anymore.

I am going to report to YOU everyday my diet and exercise. I promise to be completely honest.

Love!

Today's MENU
Breakfast - Slimfast Shake
Snack - Celery and Peanut Butter, Large Green Tea - black.
Lunch - 7 grain bun with Chicken, cheese and mustard with grapes.
Snack - 6 crackers, 1 large apple
Dinner - Slimfast Shake

Total Calories: 1230

Exercise
Run: 45 minutes
Restart Week 2 Push-ups.

Pounds to loose: 20(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: 0 - Push Ups: 0

THREE posts in ONE day!!

Spinning: 45minutes
Calories: 723

Three TIMES... I am a POSTING machine!

Just got back from Spinning and again Kerrie wasn't there. Nicole is awesome and actually popped my spinning cherry how every many months ago, but Kerrie is my favorite.

I probably shouldn't have participated today. My legs, back and shoulders are in pain from last night and I didn't go nearly as hard as I typically do, but I don't want to hurt myself. After all its better to go and sweat a little less than to sit at my desk and work on the -- who are we kidding? Three posts in one day means I have VERY little work to do.

My thighs were burning, but in a good way. I can feel my body getting stronger even if I am not loosing as much weight as I would like. I am hoping to hit 14 this week... 2 pounds per week would allow it, but you never know.

I am really looking forward to this weekend... Solstice is coming for the WHOLE weekend. Solstice is my very special, very adorable, love of my life niece. She doesn't get to come very often (her Dad lives 3 hours east of me), but when she does its a MESS. We play, bake and shop! This visit she is determined to stay up ALL night! How am I going to do this?!?! We're going to rent lots of movies and see how it goes... I like my sleep, but I love her even more and what ever she wants... is hers. I am the only one that spoils her rotten. She is the oldest of 5 and often plays the part of a parent (just so you don't get the wrong impression).

OH YEA! And great news in the odd to measure arena... my BELT! I have left whole number 4 (and sometimes 5) and moved forward. Remember, I started on hole number 3 (sometimes 2).

So even though the weight isn't coming off as quick as I had hoped. I am still making GREAT progress.

Love!

Pounds to loose: 17(-7) - Body Fat Percentage Decline: 0.3% - Inches Lost: 4