Update from the unknown - land of pregnant

Hi!

It has been entirely too long since I have posted… or sweat… or ran anywhere. I am still pregnant; which is a beautiful magical disgusting thing that all mothers must go through to get to the glory of motherhood. I can honestly say it is all worth it… 2-3 years later. I am not a baby person; I am a kid person and very quickly becoming a toddler person. Thomas is 26 months (2, he’s 2 years old) and he is a good freaking time. Yes there are plenty of tantrums, but most of that is knowing what he wants and being unable to get it or ‘keep it’. I say, preach it. There are plenty of things I want but can’t have or keep, like a waistline. I would love to throw myself on the floor, but as an adult I know about consequence and reasoning… he doesn’t. So he cries. I let him. When he puts on his ‘happy face’ and asks me nicely we always find a compromise.

So here I am fat and glowing in all my glory. I miss running and the gym, I miss sweating (on purpose being mid pregnancy through a heat wave is the worst). I miss feeling good, refreshed, happy. I have been so down and out this pregnancy, I can barely do a flight of stairs without gasping for breath AND by 7pm I can’t walk, the muscles in my lower half have given up for the day and I waddle, hobble and crawl to my bed.

I was able to put my gym membership on hold, it’s up three flights of stairs and I had to take a few breaks, but it helped in my ‘medical hold’, because I could barely breathe to tell the girl I needed to put my membership on hold.

It will be reinstated February 22^nd. I figure that is more than enough time to recover and get back at it, she says optimistically. I am still hoping to pop this bundle out in December, but who knows. I feel like December 28^th is right, but we won’t know until we get there. I think that is my Grandpa’s birthday, which would be amazing.

We still don’t have a name or a nursery design, as everything was all prepped for a little lady to be joining the family. This little guy is continuing to surprise us. Thomas still cries for baby sister, I get it buddy, but girls aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, ask my brother, he hates me almost as much as my father does. Maybe boys are the way to go – there is no turning back now. So another little motorcycle racer is joining our team in 3 months.

As for my fat and how it is proportioned, because isn’t that the whole point of this blog and this post. I am lucky this round, being so sick I have only gained 16lbs at 25 weeks and most of that seems to be in my belly, it is round and clearly a baby, which has made it easier for gawkers. No wondering… is she fat or pregnant? This beach ball announces itself and arrives a full 5 seconds before I do. Story of my life, always chasing after my boys.

So I am allowing myself a FULL 20lbs in the next 15 weeks, but let’s hope we can stay healthy and keep it closer to 15, which is insanely optimistic based on the 75lbs I gained with Thomas.

With that rough numbers I will have 80lbs to lose by January 2017. I can do this. Again.

I have my Nutritionist on standby and my gym member on hiatus, Jillian Michaels in the DVD player and water on tap.

Wish me luck, I might not be back until it is time to introduce 3.0…. so, happy Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas (or Hanukkah). I am not wishing Happy New Year, because I will have a baby before 2016.

Xo

Hi!

Hi Bloggers,

There has been radio silence, because I have been keeping a secret. For 3 months I have avoided writing to you, because I didn’t want to let it slip, but how could I write about losing my nutrionist, because of constant nausea? (We’ll meet again soon). How could I write about skipping the gym, because of pure exhaustion? How could I explain WHY I had to give up weight training and protein shakes? Without some wise owl guessing… I’m PREGNANT! Baby #2 is incubating as we speak. This tiny ripple has thrown a title wave on my workout routine and life.

In the last three months I have found out that I am pregnant, sold my house, bought a bigger house and picked out a sweet baby name. It’s been a whirl wind of surprises.

First, Michelle… dear sweet Michelle. She was the first on the chopping block when the news came through. I had just met Michelle the nutrionist. We had JUST started to like each other, I had lost 13 lbs, mostly fat and I was hanging on her every healthy word. Then I got the two blue lines and we broke up. I didn’t want to get weighed anymore, everything under the sun made my stomach do back flips and the weight loss plan we had prepared, didn’t fit anymore. We has one final meeting to discuss my plan for pregnancy, to gain as little as possible and to do it right. She gave me a list of foods to eat and to avoid. She wished me luck and we scheduled an appointment for February 2016. One month postpartum. I will do this with her, but AFTER I am done manufacturing this human being.

Second, The house. We live in a 2 bedroom town in Burlington. We love it. The neighbours are incredible. The location is perfect, but there is no backyard, no storage and no room for a 4^th person. We decided to sell. Lucky for us, we found the perfect home BEFORE that. It`s a 3 bedroom, split level, end unit down on a beautiful street in Stoney Creek. It is one block from the water and one block from the highway. It`s perfect for us and I can`t wait to move in and decorate the nursery.

Third, The Gym. I still go, but it`s lame. I can`t keep up, I can`t breath and I have to respect when my body calls it quits…. Usually around the halfway mark. I am working to go twice a week (3 times, but that third time NEVER happens). Sunday I do the step class and I hang in there for 90% of it. Tuesday I meet with Vanessa (the beast) for Body Combat. I try to get out every weekend with Thomas for a walk, last weekend we went to LaSalle park and walked along the water. It was perfect, but Mummy was TIRED and had to call in reinforcements after that hill.

The biggest struggle with working out is the pain I get in my lower abs, when I try for high knees. Not anything to worry about, but enough to make me slow down. It`s a muscle pain, not a stress pain. It`s either round ligament pain, or scar tissue stretching. Either way it hurts.

And finally, the baby, 3.0. Thomas has always been called 2.0, as he is the new and improved version of Tom (a good friend of ours). It was only fair that the next addition be called 3.0. So this little nugget is set to arrive January 1^st, but if she (I still don`t know, but ‘she’ feels right) is anything like her brother, we`ll be meeting her sooner. Christmas baby. Gah.  This pregnancy has been completely different than my first. I feel worse, a lot worse. I have cravings and aversions. I don`t feel like me, my hormones are ALL over the place. There have been days that I have warned Richard about an impending crying fit, screaming match or inappropriate laughing outburst. He is trying to keep up, but even I can`t keep up with the mood swings.

I am working with midwives again, specifically I am working with Ann again. It makes my heart flutter to think of working with Ann again. She is my rock, a version of my Nana that demands my attention. She is also very comforting and it makes the entire process manageable, despite the chaos that was Thomas, it was all ok, because Ann was there with me.

So that’s it.

Now I can write daily, or as often as I have something to write about J

I have missed it completely. 

Gastric Bypass surgery

It's going to be a long day. 

It's 6:15am and I am laying in a dark room listening to my mother try and breathe. 

It's heart breaking at the struggle her body is having with the basic necessity of breathing. Her breath is short and garglely and it has been all night. All night her lungs have fought to expand under the weight and I am so glad today has finally arrived.

Today my Mother is having gastric bypass surgery. A final effort to regain control of her life, to gain freedom and independence from a body that struggles to survive. 

I don't know how we got to this point, but I have lived in fear of repeating my mothers mistakes my entire life. She lost herself in struggling to survive with 2 kids and no support. She forgot to take care of herself along the way.

The slip lead her to a life of obesity. She can hardly walk or live freely. She can't travel or play with her grandson. Her day revolves around thoughts of food... just like mine does.

This is what pushes me to get up at 5am every morning and go to the gym. This is what drives me to find time to take care of myself in a day full of other peoples needs.

She is why I will lose the weight and stay in control of my body and my life, because the simple pleasures of mobility, easy breath and freedom are too important not to fight for.

Wish us luck today. It's a big day and this is a huge step towards independence and the life she deserves. I'm proud of her for recognizing her weaknesses and getting help. It was a huge decision that took years to make and over 15 months to plan.

It is a new beginning and I can't wait to have my Mum back.

Ding.

Xo