Look its me!

Hey! So I haven't been here, but that is common for me. If you've been a loyal long time reader you know I will always find my way back. I also did give fair warning that once wedding planning kicked up I would be off spending time with my other blog and you promised NOT to get jealous. Those are your feelings and I am not responsible for them... well, good feelings are all because of me (obviously) but those bad feelings are someone elses fault.

So what's new with me? You're dying to know the inner workings of my social life and fitness schedule, I know. Personally I am good... my throat is still swollen, my body aches and I haven't lost any weight BUT I am meeting with my Naturopath tomorrow to work on those things... I will be asking her for a fresh detox plan (the same as last year) and once that kicks in I will be feeling great. After the 2 weeks of feeling lower than dirt as I go through sugar withdrawals. Yay!

I have hit the gym EVERY week DAY this month (woot) and I am proud to say... I did that, I mean I would be proud to say I lost 100 pounds or I won something amazing, but I didn't. So I am just proud that I went to the gym -- a lot. I am still hovering around 25 pounds to lose. Hmpf. Frustrating when all the hard work and discipline leads to nothing. 

I am off of work tomorrow and meeting with my Naturo (as above), but I also have a prenatal doctors appointment with my GP. Its just to scoop, scan and peak at my insides and make sure I am in the best shape to make a baby. Eek!

I will be back with a full report on Thursday (I promise to make time). You will also get a full report of my Dad's health on Friday when we get a complete run down of his cancer, where it is and how we fix it. We've been waiting for a month to learn the outcome. He has prostate cancer and is choosing no treatment for that. He might also have lung cancer, but we will learn more on Friday. 

Another busy week and I can't believe January is over. Woah! 

5 months to the wedding... which means you'll have to head to http://www.whosgettingmarried.blogspot.com/ for daily blog posts. 

Love!

Being good at the cottage!

I am up at the cottage this weekend which means junk food, booze and drinking. It's like an excuse to cheat; different area code and stuff.


So far so good... Keep you posted ;)

Look how much water I drink!

It's Mama Bottle and Baby Bottle, both filled multiple times a day.

I blog a lot.

I also use the elliptical machine a lot. To celebrate that (and my 400th post) I wanted to draw this activity, this activity I do three times a week and I have ALWAYS avoided because of the awkward complexity it represents.

Today I tried... and failed?

Now it was a matter of putting me on this confusing machine, necessary because I do this activity more than any other. See Graph (thanks Loseit.com)

I struggled with this task... the position is odd, the feet are huge, my hands are deformed, but there you have it... Melanie on the Elliptical she loves SO much.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 22

Lost and Found!

I found my groove, made it to the gym and loved it!

Spin today was awesome and even after pizza, my Nike Fit Training was great last night. I need to do this.

Hmpf!

Pounds to Lose: 22

In protest.

I am writing this blog in protest. I am in a deep funk I am struggling to pull out of it. Yesterday I skipped breakfast, had ice cream for lunch, potato chips for a snack and apple pie for dinner.

I just don't have the drive or will power to be good. I am sad and stressed and honestly not myself. I don't know why. I have battled depression in the past, but thought I had a good handle on it. I have another doctors appointment on the 1st of February and I am going to ask about it. I won't go on meds, not that I disagree, but I have tried them before and felt no different, no better. I am hoping to set up an appointment with a therapist. I think I might just need someone to get inside my head and work it all out.

I did go down to the gym today BUT it was mainly because we had a 6 hour power out at work, and weren't allowed to go home. Hmpf.

Hopefully I start to feel better soon... although Richard did just get laid off again... great.

I want to go home and climb into bed.

Love?

Pounds to Lose: 24

This week is a waste.

I haven't thrown in the towel, but I might as well. This week has been a slow week of excuses and extravagance.

Let's begin... Monday I made it to the gym and even doubled up on my timing (go me), but I was on my 4th day of 'being late' and the stress took away from the intensity of my workout. I also skipped the evening strength training, because (excuse number 2) Richard is working nights this week and is screwing with our routines.

Tuesday, I had the best intentions to go to spin class but finally a visitor arrived (you didn't think I would tell you I was pregnant like that, did you?) and I was in the worst pain, keeled over at my desk. I also got a new project that filled my morning.. and my afternoon. The very same afternoon I scheduled my annual review. Picture it... an intense meeting in my bosses over heated office with cramps tearing up my insides. Mmm.

I got home Tuesday night for a mad dash of frantic, with a splash of excitement as Richard and I prepared to taste the menu at Geraldo's, our wedding venue. The diet went to hell when the buffet opened and I was forced to sample everything... including wine and dessert. (Read about it here). We got home at 9p; Richard quickly changed and headed to work. Having already blown my diet I snacked...

Wednesday, the big day, I was off of work and headed to a doctors appointment, then planned a busy day of getting things done (fail). Let's talk about this Doctors appointment.

I arrived 15minutes early (at their request) to fill out paperwork. While I was sitting in the waiting room, with my paperwork, the receptionist decided it was a great time to openly mock past patients. I believe the conversation was something like 'Did you see that guys cold sore?', 'Yea, it was practically talking to me'. I tried not to listen and to not let their unprofessionalism taint my experience, but I was already feeling queasy anticipating bad news. Then a kid (I say this, because she was barely 18) asks me to step into the back room. She is wearing a deep purple valor leisure suit with a golden dragon spilling over her entire back. She escorts me into the back room for weighing and measurements. She doesn't allow me to take off my massive sweater or shoes, but weighs me anyways. This room is about 4 feet wide and 3 feet long, on one wall was a stack of random boxes, including one for toilet paper. Another wall was an old yellowing fridge (please remember I am at the specialist office) and half through the assessment the receptionist cuts through and giggles.

I am taken to another crowded little room and asked random questions about thyroid cancer, followed by all the questions I just answered on the forms I came in early to fill out.

I head back to the waiting room, where the receptionist are at it again. This time mocking the doctor and all his 'stupid questions'. After 45 minutes (10:45a, my appointment was at 10a) my name is called. I get up and walk to the chatty receptionist and she gives me a dumb look than says 'back there' and points randomly down the long hallway behind her desk. I ask where and she says just head down there you'll find him.

I find a little room at the end of the hall with a man lounging behind a desk cluttered with papers, garbage, food and more. He invites me to sit down and asks why I am there, I mention my thyroid and a few sympt-- he cuts be off and says 'excuse me. I am reading.' as he scans my chart. Thanks. He then mumbles, in an accent I don't recognize, about Dr. Hart. I say-- wait, this is better in dialogue.

'you see he-art docter?' he said.

'I'm sorry who?' I try to sound polite.

'Card-EE-log-eye-gist?' He says slowly.

'I'm sorry I don't uderstand' I respond even slower.

'HEE-ART' He says, 'He-ART Doc-tear'

'Heart Doctor? No.'

'Yes'

'No'

You get the idea... he was reading my chart all the way back to 2008, thanks for being thorough, but let's skip ahead. (PS. No, I never saw a heart Doctor, even in 2008... he misread the chart).

I start to tell him why I am there, the incurable symptoms, my concerns and the few details I've read online. I ask about other treatments. He stares blankly and mutters 'I don't know.' Then his perils of wisdom tell me, the Internet offers only a  misdiagnoses; his example -- like when someone is having chest pain, they make think it is a heart attack, because of the Internet, but it is actually something else. I said 'Great, am I having a heart attack?' My heart was racing. He said no, but your symptoms might not be related to your thyroid. I countered with 'what could they be related too?' He said 'I don't know.'

He told me my levels were normal and I was fine. I asked why I was there. He said 'I don't know'. He did a physical examination and determined that my thyroid was/is enlarged. I asked why and he said... I don't know.

I am typically VERY patient with people, but I could read this guys face 'look at the lazy fat girl, looking for a quick fix and a reason why she is gaining weight. Maybe you should stop eating, fatty.' I have seen that look before. The doctors don't believe for a second that I eat well and exercise. I loose my temper when that glazed over look appears. I excused myself, left the office and have no intention on going back, but my doctor, my lovable GP will hear about this.

I cried in the car. I has prepared for news... news of something, something curable. Not nothing. Not another 'its all in your head', but that is precisely what I got.

The best part about my week... Richard was home, warm and snuggly in bed. I drove home tears in my eyes and climbed into bed. We slept all afternoon and it was perfect. I didn't go to yoga or get anything done, but my heart was healed and I loved it.

Sleep turned my eating schedule upside down and I skipped lunch, but ate an early dinner with Richard around 3. We bounced around the house for a few more hours, before I went to bed and he went to work. It is confusing, but ok for just one week.

Today (Thursday) I packed a healthy lunch, with good snacks. I went to step class and pushed through the high intensity of the class. I feel ok with myself... disappointed, but ok.

Tomorrow is Friday and I have all the intentions in the world to go to the gym and eat well, but its Friday and I still have all those errands to do. So I may skip certain healthy options, besides I am a chocolate craving maniac at this time of the month.

That is why this week is a waste... Next week will be better and February 1st will be amazing, because I have more doctors appointments, including my naturopath, who will fix everything. Sigh

Love!

Happy Weekend!

Well... it was a 'happy weekend'. Click here to see why.

I am still working hard at this weight loss thing, but I had a slack weekend. I had dessert... twice, granted I am making healthier choices and skipped the chocolate and ice cream for apple pie. The second time was a home made rice crispy square, because I was feeling weak after a battle with my mother in law.

I gained over the weekend (I always gain over the weekend), but should be back on track by Wednesday... its also a water weight thing, because I don't drink enough water on the weekend. I find it hard to consume the massive amounts required.

I hit the gym today... elliptical for 30minutes, and treadmill sprinting for 10minutes. I am scheduled to do a Nike Training Club work-out tonight, but things are a little squirrely at home with Richard on the night shift this week. I don't to rock out too hard and wake him, before is over night shift. We'll see what I can piece together.

I feel good about everything... I feel good about life. I am stressed about wedding stuff, but it should calm down once everything gets finalized. By the end of the month we should be on track and able to collect our pennies without hesitation. I can't wait to have nothing to plan... nothing to save for. I hate this worry about money non-sense.

Ok. I have rambled and shared very little about fitness.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 21

Relavance is key here.

So... I have been at this game for 3 years. Through those years I have tracked my weightloss in every way possible for the most motivation. When I didn't lose pounds (and I was really trying) I could see loss in inches or body fat percentage. I have never (on this blog) posted my complete results from the beginning. If you're a long time reader you know how scared I am to reveal my actual weight (I haven't decided if I will share it yet).

**Sometimes it is hard to be organized and I delete things. I am mad right now that I deleted my 2010 note, which contained all my 2010 (ie. starting) numbers. Hmpf. Richard is working on retrieving it, but its a challenge. Sorry!

***When he is done being cranky he said he would help me.
*** FOUND IT!

As you can witness I am going in the right direction. Yes I lose more through the year, but I always gain a little near the end. I am ok with that because I am human. I indulge when I need too (read: want too). The best part of tracking annually is no matter how crummy you feel it all feels better when you look at the big picture... a hard task, when you caught up on a .5lbs gain.

Another interesting revelation today... I am happy to be 204, even proud of myself. Now that is up 6 pounds from my lowest weight, but I am still had to see the scale declining again. The first time I hit 204 (in early 2011) I celebrated my loss, the second time I hit 204 (in late 2011) I cried a little at my failure, and the third time I'm celebrating. I always find it interesting how the same number can be interpreted in so many ways. I like numbers a lot more on the weigh down, but didn't think I would celebrate them the third time around. I also wonder if any of that rambling made sense.

I am thrilled to have lost 9 inches from last year (even more from 2010 if I could find it!),  29 inches overall and 9% body fat (from 2011-12, because I didn't have a good scale for 2010)... which is awesome! I think I may even be 'overweight' now... not obese. woo! (Another weird reason to celebrate). As for actual weight loss... just over 15 pounds, plus the 25 from 2010 means I am down 40 pounds. Which is awsome. Another 20 to go and I will have to stop writing my blog *sniff* because I will be happy with my weight and not trying to battle the bulge anymore. Although I can't imagine a day when I am not trying to lose weight... its been my thing for 25 years.

Although next years review should be weird... hopefully there will be a bun in my oven, so I can't begin to fathom where my weight will be, but good news is... the blog wil be back in running order to lose the baby weight. Aw... relief.

Ha!

That's it... I will up date with my original stats as soon as I have them.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 19

I found a minute.

I found a minute to write. yay! Let's all rejoice in my brief moment of sanity. I have been trying to keep up at work and at the gym, honestly it is more work than I remember trying to get to the gym every day. I think I am doing good. Yesterday was day 7, for January and its only the 12th. My New Years resolution is fully in tact and I am proud of myself.

Yesterday I was exhausted. I didn't do my Nike Training Club in the evening... I just ran out of steam. I did make it to the gym at lunch and after 30 minutes on the elliptical I ran on sprinted on the treadmill. I am trying to take all I have learned over the last 2 years and use it. I am trying to remember when I felt my best and what I was doing. It always comes back to running, but I find running indoors so boring. Once the weather co-operates I will hit the pavement and run every morning (yes, I will). I am great with goals and deadlines... give me a reason to work and I will. If give the chance to slack i will also do that. The wedding (more the honeymoon) is my deadline right now. I want to lose another 20lbs (yes I lost another 2 if you're keeping track ;). I want to be the smallest, fittest and healthiest as I start my new existence as a wife.

I feel like this random, barely strung together post needs a list. A list of what... 'things I've learned'... no. 'Things I want to do'... no. 'Things I hate'... no (I am not angry enough). 'Things I love'... sort of -- maybe -- yes.

100  30 40 Little Things That I make me happy (I love being happy so its a list of 'love')

1. Being second in line for the bathroom in the morning, because then the water is already warm to wash my face.
2. When my hair co-operates.
3. Perfect tea, not scolding, but not cold... that small window of perfect tea.
4. Realizing how well I know myself.
5. A random text from a lost friend that just says 'Muah'.
6. A good stretch.
7. A cuddly evening when Richard can't get enough hugs.
8. A real natural laugh.
9. Getting lost in a moment.
10. Crayons.
11. Remembering I am important to people.
12. An "I love you" from my Dad, who has only said it twice.
13. When my inbox is empty.
14. The sound of my phone with a new message. Some one is thinking of me.
15. Feeling good about my life.
16. Past loves find success.
17. People reading my blog, (and commenting *wink wink*)
18. Showing up in people's facebook profile picture.
19. Making my own decisions.
20. Walking behind a sweet smelling stranger.
21. The smell of dryer sheets on clean clothes.
22. Post-it notes
23. Finding a resolution.
24. Solving a surprise (this drives EVERYone crazy, but I hate surprises and I love playing detective).
25. Being asked for help.
26. Being able to revise my own lists when they are too long.
27. Lip Gloss.
28. Knowing music history and surprising people with it.
29. Reading and getting lost in a good story.
30. When my flowers bloom, or come back from the dead.
31. A good pun.
32. Being able to make multiple revisions when I have more ideas.
33. Lime green table clothes.
34. Magnets.
35. Blogs.
36. When the scale plummets, no matter how many times I weigh in.
37. Richard talking about babies.
38. When the kettle is already boiling and I don't have to weight.
39. Being called 'cute'.
40. Making lists.

Ok. Make a list... think about all the little things in a day that make you smile or warm your heart. It is a HUGE stress reliever, it makes a crazy day seems bearable and it will make you smile. If it doesn't grab a box of crayons, put on some lip gloss and stretch. I dare you not to smile.

This post has been all over the place... I thought you deserved a post, but I am sorry its not more concise. In the realm of fitness I am hoping to go to step class today, but a long meeting might prevent that (and I will cry). Wish me luck.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 20

Work has been insane!

I am so sorry dear blog. On the upside I have been keeping up with my fitness. I hit the elliptical on Friday and I typically don't hit up the gym on Fridays. I ran on Monday with the Nike Training Club in the evening. And today I made it to spin class. Kerry was on her game and I am very sore right now.

Yay!

Sorry I can't write more witty words of wisdom, but I am pooped and have had a crazy busy day.

Oh and in case you're keeping track... I am 10 days dairy free ;)

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 22

This was my attempt to show you the bike.

This is ACTUALLY the bike, at the very least it is what I see when I am
panting, out of breath and sweating.

Water Tip

So I have a water app. It's a simple app where you track your water intake. I know. So simple, but so affective. Most people don't drink enough water in a day and now that I am aware of my intake I know the symptoms of dehydration. I love water and, other than tea (and wine) its all I drink now.

So I recommend the app... search 'water' in the app store and the app is called 'water'. Its all so simple.

This very simple water app also has 'Water Tips'... most of them are things you already know about water, how much is in the body, how much is in the world, scientific facts too. The one I am excited to share is...

"After a day of proper hydration, allowing a few grains of salt to melt on your tongue will put you into a deep natural sleep"

I have been doing this all week.. and HOLY BANANAS, its true. I have never sleep as well as I have this past week. I don't wake in the night (which had become common in the last 2 months) and I feel so rested in the morning. I don't have dreams (or nightmares)... that I remember, which was always another annoyance of sleeping.

So my weekend tip is to try it, I don't know what happens if you do it with out proper hydration... if you try it let me know if it worked for you to.

DOUBLE POST!

I missed yesterday, because work was just a little too much. I did however make it to the gym. I made it to Assata's step class and I loved it. My legs are sore and I lost another pound. I wish she had a step class everyday... i would gladly attend.

Although this class did arouse a pet peeve that seems to have become a regular thing in this class. A brief background: Sign up for the noon class starts at 11:45a. If you don't make it on the list, you don't make it into class. There isn't enough room or enough equipment. The spots are numbered (on the floor) and you build your step on a number. That gives everyone enough room and prevents over crowding. When this happens its great, especially in a class that involves a lot of BIG movements and floor space. Enter Pet Peeve... a girl (the same one every week) shows up late, doesn't sign in and stand on the side (right beside me) and does the work out without equipment. Normally I wouldn't care, but she is not humble about it. She is rude and scowls at everyone who showed up on time, and may not be in the shape she is, but are trying very hard. In short she is a bitch.

I don't know how to rectify this... I don't want to be the squeaky wheel, but it does affect my workout when I have to shorten my movements or watch out for her flying high kick. The frustrating part is even more that the instructors make a point to discuss this at the start of every class... that 'bitch' misses. Hmpf!

Ok... rant over. Try the water thing... and have a great weekend.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 22

So much to say!

I love a new year... there is so much opportunity to be good, to have everything be what you want.

This year I am being healthy, active and productive... granted we're only 4 days in, but I think it is a positive mindset and I happy about it.

I left work early yesterday to head to the doctor... in an effort to follow the chronological events of yesterday let's cover that first. I met with my doctor to discuss my ultrasound results (the ultrasound of my neck). Turns out I do have an inflamed thyroid... which means I have a goitre - another one. This time it is caused by Thyroiditis, which literally translates to an inflamed thyroid.

My doctor explained it as a viral infection that is attacking my thyroid and because my thyroid is so lazy, its not doing anything about it. It's just letting it happen... which is where all the discomfort comes from. It doesn't hurt, but I can feel the lump in my throat when I swollen and if I try to sleep on my back I can't breath... no biggie. Ha! I have an appointment with a specialist in early February and I will likely have my thyroid removed... yay, gruesome scar JUST IN TIME for the wedding. I am annoyed with my body acting out, but overall I am ok with the results. Its not cancer and I am ok with that.

My Doctor also said it isn't affecting my thyroid function... which means the drugs are working. There is nothing more we can do, but wait for things to work themselves out.

Fast Forward to me getting home to my 60minutes of me time (which I love). I spent 30minutes with Nike Training Club. Woah. I am sore today and excited that at home, alone, with only weights I can make myself sore. I thought it would be a quick workout; a couple dips, lifts and lunges, but it was so much more! It was insane... and I love the flow of the workout.

While you're working out it gives you tips with videos to show you the proper movements. I like that it yells at you to keep going, gives you countdowns and doesn't make you do the same thing for very long. The longest exercise was 2 minutes.

The 30 minutes include 'recovery' and stretching. It was fun and I am looking forward to trying another one tonight. I feel like I can meet all my goals this year.... it is afterall the year of ME!

Ok... still swamped at work, but hitting the gym at lunch for a little ellipitical action.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: 23 (I know, right?! yay!)

First Day Back!

And I am doing good. I forgot my *crackers, which means no morning snack, but I'm good. I even made it down to the gym for a spin class. Actually I can't take all the motivational credit on that one... **Tim dragged me down to the gym. I am glad I went. I am glad I went with him, because I wouldn't have followed through if he hadn't challenged me. Today is Tuesday. Tuesday means Kerry is teaching and although I hate spin. I love Kerry, but Kerry wasn't here (or there) today. ***Ron was there. I tried to run in the other direction (on the treadmill of course), but Tim caught me and threw me on the bike. 45 minutes later and I am bored, his music is NOT spin worthy, but sweaty.

I feel good about myself and making it back to the gym... it did spark the gym-fiend inside of me and I can't wait for my next work out... which is a great segue into, tonight is my FIRST at home Nike Fit Club workout. Thanks to my new iPhone.



Look how fancy it looks.
This is a screen shot of tonight's work out.



Its an app I have used before, but lost because my old phone wasn't up to date enough to run the updated app. Any who... I have decided that every night after work I am going to take 60minutes for me, before I fall into the housewife roll of ****making dinner and prepping lunches. 60minutes will give me 30 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of relaxing... stretching, showering, lounging etc.

I think it is a great way to work on my muscle tone and keep my sanity.

Tonight should be interesting too... I will be home later than normal tonight. I have a Doctors appointment this afternoon. A he-needs-to-see-you-ASAP kind of doctors appointment. I am a little nervous, but at least we can a reason for all that ails me and hopefully it is something easy to fix. Cross your fingers for me... this thing in my neck is growing quickly and I want it resolved.

Ok... I am also in charge this week at work so I am a little overwhelmed with everything.

That being said... I have to run.

Love!

Pounds to Lose: *****26 pounds

*They are plain brown rice crackers... no yummy buttery toppables for me.

** Pro-Spinning co-worker in amazing shape for a 58 year old.

*** The substitute teacher with bad music and even worse hair.
**** PS. I love to cook, this is not a chore, remember I am a Foodie
***** I know! What the hell happen?!

It's time

It is January 1st. I have decided its a 'free day'; my last day to enjoy everything I love and will miss for the next 6 months, because it is 6 months till the wedding... so I have 6 months to lose 25lbs and become the healthiest I have ever been.

My Free Day is the final binge before the purge... I am eating what I want in mass quantities. Its not healthy or helpful, but its my resolution and I want to do it this way - lol.

This afternoon I am going to go through the house and rid it of EVERYTHING unhealthy... candy, cookies, crackers, chips, flakys, granola bars... everything. I am going to put it all in a box and move it to the basement. This year Richard has decided to do the 'healthy' thing with me (which is awesome) but I am still questioning his commitment, so I don't want to throw everything out. He knows to put it somewhere safe, accessible and unknown by me.

As of tomorrow I am no longer consuming dairy. I am also giving up fast food and making a commitment to eat at home 6 days a week. Richard and I tend to eat out a lot, although I make healthy choices, its not good for us OR the budget. My serious (and medically supervised) starts February 1st. I have my appointment with my naturopath January 26th and I am going to ask to do the same detox from last year... I think the stress of the wedding will be easier to handle with my health in order.

Ok... I am just rambling and I need to get to the eating... I only have a few hours left.

Love!

PS - What's your resolution???

Pounds to Lose - 25