Finally a step...

... Class!

I am a rare breed that freaking loves step! I love dancing along to music and bouncing all over the step. I like the rythym and flow of step, it's all fluent and predictable. There is no hang time to get bored, but lots of room for more.

I love it. 

I'm sweaty and about to have my THIRD shower of the day. Zac and I hiked in the heat and I woke up needing a shower... Now I need it worse than before.

Please god let the scale reflect my hard work this week. 

Pondering, a slippery slope...

Today I thought about the best (read:easiest) solution to all my problems and the only solution I came up with was to stop eating. Not only did this free up all the time spent chewing, swallowing and digesting, but the time to journal my calorie intake and the time to meal plan (read: stress about what the hell I can eat), meal prep, grocery shopping... All time given back to me on this plan.

PLUS I'd lose weight, it would be inevitable... No calories in, means a daily deficit, means weight loss and at this point who cares if it's water weight, fat, muscle or bone. This is how badly I want to be skinny. 

My growing mountain of debt and lack of employment wouldn't be a concern either. My grocery bill would drop, my gym membership cancelled. I wouldn't need a new wardrobe... 

The stress associated with all of the above would be gone and the daily disappoint of not losing and/or gaining weight would be over. 

Sounds like the perfect solution, but I'm too damn responsible and thick headed to do it. These are the actual thoughts I have running through my twisted mind as I battle everyday to get fit.

I know there is a difference between skinny and healthy, but I am almost beyond the point of caring. I can worry about being healthy after I lose 100lbs.

I'm also struggling to turn this post around and make it light and funny when it still seems like the best option... Just for a little while. 

Pitfalls

Everyday posting is harder than I thought, especially during a low.

I'm feeling discouraged, Mother Nature hit me hard last week, the horomones of stopping nursing and that 'time', meant I was a big ball of tears. And believe it or not crying while working out doesn't burn extra calories like it should. 

I made mistakes out of frustration and I am feeling it today, bloated and sore. 

Isn't there a saying about getting up again? Well I'm going to do that. 

Peach festival today and then the gym.

Xo

Virtual Fitness?

Yesterday I headed to Grimsby to test out this 'Virtual Fitness', Goodlife is promoting.

First I walked in on the Yoga class, than the meatheads took the exercise room and I legit cried, then at 9:10pm under total exhaustion (I elliptical'd until I could make a new plan) I tried vitual fitness.

I wanted to step, that was the whole point. I love stepping, but can't ever make it to a class (who can at 5pm). They don't offer step in Virtual Fitness (of course). A lot of Zumba and Sh'bam, but I am not shaking my big butt around for everyone to see; so I settled on BODYPump.

It was only offered in 28 minute classes -- 19 minutes later I was done, wondering if anyone knew how to count. On the upside, having a class alone (without an instructor to judge) is great because you can move frantically and freely without recourse, the equipment is ready available and you're on your own time. The downside is no one to challenge (even if its just in my head) and no one to watch (we all do it, we watch the poor uncoordinated lady give it everything she's got, its ok to say this, because most of the time I am her).

I'll probably do it again, but waking up on the scale this morning, this week doesn't seem worth all the effort.

Hmpf!

A Dragon Hike

Dora the Explorer is always getting me in to trouble... she found a waterfall and since then Thomas has talked about the waterfall, so this morning we went in search of a waterfalls -- and dragons, but Thomas added that detail last minute, so we're still looking for the winged beasts.

I took the boys up to Tiffany Falls, its in Ancaster and after a short hike; over bridges and through rocks (thank goodness for my all terrain stroller #Bobisthebest), it opens up to a tall waterfall, cascading down the escarpment.

Thomas loved it, Zac loved it and so did I. I worked up a sweat, got some sun and spent the morning showing my boys you don't have to sit in front of a screen to be entertained (The irony is not lost that since there nap I have been working on the computer *facepalm*).

The house is a mess, I can't work on it and myself... I chose myself. The house will survive, the boys will create memories and I'll fit back into my old wardrobe.

I am off to the gym tonight (Against schedule) to try a vitural class (details to follow).

xo

Missed a post, but not a workout!

First the promised update from Monday.

I got to the Goodlife up on the mountain around 7:30 and started on the elliptical. I did their 'variety' plan with lots of hills. 22 minutes of climbing and I headed to the weight, quick full body circuit and the swimming! I climbed into my Mom suit, showered and headed to the deck, anyone that knows me, knows I hate swimming/water, but it works out new muscles and adds variety so... Let's dive in. 

I swim like a frog, it's weird, but that's how my Nana taught me and it gets me through, keeps me a float and doesn't put my face underwater. I call it a win.

I decided to add to the fun with a Sauna after my swim. It was delicious. I used their fancy swimsuit dryer and headed home ready for bed.

Now Tuesday, tricky day, because I had a date to see a movie in the evening (more to follow). So I loaded Zachary up and we headed for a 4.01k. It was great, sweaty and fun. I doubt Zac loved it. He, like Thomas, is not a fan of the stroller, but until he can voice his opinion it doesn't count #politics

I tried to keep my diet in check because I knew movie meant popcorn and there was a plan (might have been my idea) to go for dessert afterwards. After all this was a date with my favourite Moms and we needed a good catch up.

The movie, BAD MOMS was awesome. If you haven't seen it you should. We were literally laughing out loud through most of it. I only bought a SMALL popcorn, no drink (I snuck in a green tea, shhhh!), no treats; still 340 calories *eye bulge*, but I did skip dinner so maybe it would be ok.

And then dessert, splurging is a part of living. I got the Fork Awakens and Sweet Mary of Jesus is was delicious, not to heavy and just-- fucking good.

I even logged my calories for the evening at well over 1200... I ended up hitting my 10,000 steps and went to bed feeling satisfied.

Less so on the scale this morning...

xo

How is day two?

I am eating a bowl of cupcake goldfish as I type this. It's been a long day, but despite this 'dessert', I'm doing great. A long walk with the boys, a reasonable diet and a plan to hit the gym for a run/weight and swim. Yup... I am going swimming, at least that is the plan (Richard ducked out after dinner and has yet to return, in fact I am only typing this because I am sitting with a whiny toddler waiting for him to finish his dinner... it's been an hour. Eat the damn chicken. It was a fight to eat the broccoli (previously his favourite until Justin Time told him it smelled like dirty socks. Thanks Justin.) We got through that hurdle and now its chicken... the best chicken I have ever BBQ'd, juicy and delicious, neither man finished (sometimes I feel so appreciated).

Anyways... I think its been a good day, despite having no sleep and a wicked cold. Poor little Thomas was up all night with a dirty smoker cough and just wanted to snuggle (melt, which is hard to type because as we speak he is telling me he is very mad with me right now, because I am insisting he eat his dinner). Zac is so congested you can tell he is frustrated and claws at his sweet baby face and only really gets sleep when propped up on my chest... two kids, one Mum, you do the math #sotired

BUT I am going to the gym! I am going to go as soon as I can. I am going to run and read my book (Thank you Sophie for writing something I want to read) and then lift some weights and after a quick shower i am going to swim laps! woot! God, I hope I remember how to swim and I also hope there is not a crowd, because a more 'Mom' swimsuit does not exist... its that or wear a t-shirt in the pool, which I think draws more attention than owning the MOM suit.

Gah! As I type it I think about cancelling... I was hoping to be at the gym by now, but here I sit pleading with a toddler to EAT YOUR CHICKEN as tears stream down his cheeks (I am not demanding he eat it all, or clear his plate, but try it and actually swallow it, toddlers are so damn literal).

Times up... bath time for Thomas.

More to follow post workout... if I make it there at all.

Hmpf

Update; Monday circuit complete, details to follow in day 3s report #cliffhanger

Can't vow to post and skip day one!

Today I walked, slowly with a stroller and then I napped for 4 hours, because whatever germ invaded my toddlers sweet little body yesterday, moved on to me today. 

Blargh.

This brings me back to sleep is good for me, right? 

Stoked for swimming tomorrow! 

Xo

Summary.

I am, apparently, the queen of starting a story and forgetting the ending. Please know it drives me crazy too... Especially when I'm back-reading to compare progress and I post, lead up, progress and NO follow up.

What happen on my *bike trip in 2010? Did I get my **thyroid resolved? Did I have a ***baby? Did I finish or win any challenges?

All loose ends... 

The challenge are the most relevant so let's make this post about them.

Challenge #1 - hosted by me, ran for 12 weeks and was a moderate success. I lost 20lbs and came in second overall, but it kind of went south at the end and only 2 competitors submitted their final weights (I had to cancel the final in person weigh in because of family issues, that got cancelled last minute anyways #drama). So Im not sure I will do it again. It was fun to play host, but not sure the participants enjoyed it as much as possible.

Challenge #2 - hosted by one of my darling (and competive) friends #youknowImright. It lasted for 4 weeks and I lost that one, I shed 13 pounds, but started over 100lbs heavier than my competitors (it pains me to say that). So my pounds lost had to be maginified to compete for percentage lost (sounds a lot like excuses). Our gracious winner is a beast so I am ok with losing to her, she killed it.

What else did I fail at? Running... yup, that didn't last. We had a huge heat wave and the interval running turned in to real running and I got bored (secretly I know my boredom stemmed from my inability to actually run for 28 minutes straight #moreexcuses).

I kicked Jillian, I had added her to my routine for some weight work during the day, but couldn't keep up-- oh god, I am noticing a pattern. I am never going to get somewhere I've never been, without doing something I have never done before #truth

Ok... not that I need to justify myself to anyone (yet isn't this the whole point of the blog?) but its time too. I don't prioritize my fitness/diet. I am a Mom first, a wife, an employee, a friend and then a gym rat. I also enjoy sleep and sometimes when I am up all night I skip a workout to get a nap (Sleep is vital to weight loss... right?)

I am now on another schedule (you're thinking oh geez, another 'plan' she is going to fail at),but this post may be the very reason I don't fail at this one. I have 6 weeks of workouts scheduled (across 3 gyms) and I am hoping a schedule will work. I want to lose 15lbs by the end... a wedding with some old friends that I want to look flawless at (Nothing motivated like having to dress up).

There she is... wish me luck. I am vowing for daily updates #yearight

The only thing I did hang on to were my rewards, which I am yet to reach but goal # 1 includes an entire day at the salon, which I desperately need #idontknowwhatmyhairisdoing #messyhairDOcare

Xo

*We rode over 3500km in 9 days, through snow, rain and tornadoes. I dropped my bike twice and ripped my rain suit. I shared a hotel room with three men, and survived. I tried a McLobster. Ew. I dragged my knee and lost my Nana's earring. It was awesome!

**I'm still 'hypo' despite being 'hyper' while pregnant. I take daily meds and am in the normal range #whateverthatis

**Actually TWO babies, but introduced over here, but never in a blog. Zac joined the team December 16 and might deserve his own post with all the complications that are relevant to my fitness progression. Do I dare at another 'stay tuned'?