Monday, December 11, 2017

My plunge into the world of Chiropractic-esque


So I am a skeptic, that’s not a surprise to anyone that knows me. I am cool with rearranging the furniture, changing the wall colour, but when it comes to moving the structure, I didn’t understand how that could help. I have been up right for 34 years... now someone is telling me I am doing it wrong?

Well, I was doing it wrong.

Did you know your neck is supposed to move, freely... all over the place? Like for real.
And you’re thinking, my neck moves, turns and swivels, but does it? Does it really? I thought mine did.

It does now.

Now.  I have to betray my chiro’s confidence for a second as I tell the true tale of my first adjustment.
I work as a CHA; Chiropractic Health Assistant and an office manager for a renowned clinic older than I am. I am the new girl swinging through the door with no idea what goes on in those little yellow rooms.

Its magic people, magic goes on within these walls.

I hurt my shoulder in the summer and like most I said, ‘it’ll get better on its own.’ I pulled back from training and anything that irritated it. I grumbled every time I tried to lift, move or carry something... including poor, sweet Zachary.

Fast forward a few months and the pain/burning nags, but is just something I have gotten used to.
Then the fates throw me in line for an opportunity in a chiropractic office. The hours are better; the location is amazing and its only 4 days a week. I think its kismet and after a couple interviews, accept the office manager/CHA position.

Still at this point having no idea what goes on in those little rooms.

I obliviously work for 2 weeks; training and helping patients, no idea what is really happening around me.

Then I remember my shoulder pain, I joke with my chiro about squeezing me in between patients and in that moment I am in the yellow room.

“What can you do in 8 minutes to help my shoulder?’

“What can I do in 3 minutes?”He laughed and I lie on the table while he poked around, finding the sore spot. He patiently explains the diagnosis several times, after answering all the questions. So many questions.

The first diagnosis, things are tight. My muscles are flexed and pulling on my bones; my infrastructure, wreaking havoc, hassling nerves and being a general nuance. He works to loosen them while I lay face down and jiggle. It hurts, but call sadistic is also feels good.

Then he brings up the adjustment and watches me flinch, I have to admit I was caught up in the old way of thinking scared of the ‘crack’, but we’re still bonding so I agree, based on the logic provided. The tight muscles on my right side have been pulling on my spine for the past month; this has rotated my spine causing pain. There is so much logic I smile politely and he folds me up and tells me to take a deep breath and when I let it out --- whoosh.

He pounces in a well practiced movement and I feel all the air leave my body and a small pop in my back, it doesn’t hurt, but catches me off guard and I start to laugh, awkwardly and intensely, even he starts to chuckle.

I ask, “Is this normal?” His smile says it is and we move to the other side. I think I am ready for this one, but the same laugh falls out of me as the air is squeezed out of me.

Then it happens, has asks about my neck, can he adjust.

I pause. It’s my neck. But I am all in, I am a 100% type person so I smile and nod.

He tells me to relax into hands and warns that I will hear a tiny ‘pop’, it’s just the gases releasing.

It is not tiny.

It is not a ‘pop’.

It sounds like I just walked barefoot of a bag of Fritos (out of bag, obviously). I expect pain, but it doesn’t follow, what does follow is a howl, from me. I have spent 34 years believing my neck should not make that noise.

Then he tells me he has to do the other side and cautions the same warning.

I don’t relax. I try.

The movement is the same, but the sound is a tiny ‘pop’.

“There is the tiny pop,” I joke.

“You didn’t relax as much.” He smiles.

“Well, I knew was to expect this time”, but even as I am saying it I swivel and turn my head. It feels different, loose – free. “My neck moves”

“It’s supposed too.” He laughs as he watches me bobble around; taking my new found movement for a test run. Quick left, lazy right... it’s so different. I like it.

And all of this in less time than it took you o read about it.

The best news is the next day I felt bruised (keep reading), but the soreness I have felt for weeks is gone. And within 48 hours the bruising sensation goes too.

So yes, I have been upright for 34 years, but I haven’t been doing it right.


Now I am. Mostly.