Thursday, November 8, 2012

Let's recap!

When I take off... I TAKE OFF. I skipped an entire week at the gym. The week of October 29th was not a good week. I skipped the gym Monday and Tuesday, forgot my pants on Wednesday and never went back. I didn't run outside, because it was rainy and cold... I did NOTHING, but eat Halloween candy and drink.

But that week doesn't define me.

I am better then that.

This week I have been to the gym 4 times (and it's only Thursday). I have counted my calories, gotten sleep and taken all of my vitamins (not at the same time).

I feel good.

I hate feeling fat and gross... mostly because it is always MY fault that I feel like that. I get wrapped up in a negative emotion and can't stop myself. I feel hopeless and alone, and I eat to soothe myself... usually excess amounts of chocolate.

It is work to be healthy and it is disappointing when my body works against me (still not pregnant... hence the heavy drinking last Friday; I just needed to escape.)

So... what have I done this week? And what did I eat? The eating is the fun part... so we will save it till last.

Monday - Elliptical 40minutes (nothing impressive, but at least I was there).
Tuesday - Step Fusion (20 minutes of step class and 20 minutes of tabata)
Wednesday (still sore from Tabata, seriously) - Zumba AND Cardio Ball with Cassy.

What is "Cardio Ball with Cassy'? It's a mess.

I can NOT draw hands!
I have done a ball class before and it was 30 minutes of bouncing a big ball around. It was strength training and slow. I THOUGHT this would be the same... I didn't even put on REAL workout clothes. I was sore from Zumba/Step Fusion... I just wanted to spend time with my good friend Cassy.

And then... it wasn't.

It was heaving the giant, and surprisingly heavy, ball around while skipping and shuffling all over the room. The instructor was from the 80's, with short pants (but not Capri's, pictured above) and a head band. The old ladies in the crowd made her turn down the music and we were RIGHT UP front.

It was ridiculous... then she would make us put down the ball and do kick boxing(?) and Zumba (???) Just for kicks (ha!). Nothing made sense... but it got worse when she switched to the weights portion. She turned down the pace of the music, which had fergie singing baritone, and instructed everyone WRONG. Now I am not one to nitpick (yes I am), but proper form while doing crunches is to keep your spine straight... think about having a tennis ball under your chin. It puts less strain on your neck and back. She was telling everyone to tuck their chins and pull on their ears... WTF?!

The class when by quick and I am glad I had a chance to see the gym. It's a gorgeous gym with incredible facilities (it should be its only 3 months old), but the staff was B list.

I am thinking about joining a gym in Burlington; I want to continue working out through out the winter and running in the snow is NOT an option.

I still have to check out the goodlife, but I think I have been spoiled by my gym... its clean, organized, friendly and the instructors are on top of their game.

I am sore today... tired and hungry.

Something worked this week... I am just not ready to chalk it up to BIG BALLS.


PS- Thank you to Cassy for letting me tag along to her BIG BALL class.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I think my body hates me...

... or loves me JUST THE WAY I AM.

So I am doing this running thing, which is good for my heart and good for my head, but my knee... not. so. much.

Recycled picture... but you get the idea... hmpf.
I have a doctors appointment on Monday to try and figure something out, but as of right now I can't straighten my leg without pain, but it gets uncomfortable when it is bent for too long.

I can walk fine, but only forwards... turning (or going backwards, (which does happen) doesn't bode well and I typically yelp at the sudden pain.

The pain never lasts long... just long enough for me to know something isn't right.

Funnily enough... it doesn't hurt when I run. After the run it hurts A LOT... and my house is ALL stairs, which is the worst.
Could there BE any more stairs?!?


No more runs this week...


Monday, October 22, 2012

I got new shoes!

This happens once a year.

Once a year I venture in to the 'all too intimidating' sports store and wander over to the ginormous wall of shoes.

Normally I am greeted by an over educated athlete, that knows EVERYTHING about shoes. Normally, I am over whelmed by their perception and knowledge about what I always though was so basic (its shoes, you lace them up and go).

Not this time.

In his defense I have now been running for 4 years. I understand my stride and cadence. I know my limits and have more realistic expectations. I know I only run outside. I know I run about 5k per run and that I run 4 times a week. I know I run on the outside of my foot and have weak knees (most of which I learned from the sports store experts).

The bottom line... you can't BS me (unless you are in fact a Sports Store expert).

Now 'Sam' (name changed for his protection) was very eager to help, just not well informed.

He seemed to put a lot of weight behind 'water proof' shoes for indoor running.

He also made up stories of murderous sticks that might in fact rip the netting on my shoes while running outside... netting that the waterproof shoes don't suffer from.

The waterproof shoes were only for indoor running as their soles would probably wear out quickly.

Sam considered grey a flashy colour.

Sam didn't have a clue, but he was nice about it. His real fault was the hovering... he would bring me a shoe and then stand within my personal bubble while I tried on the shoe.

At one point he seemed to get excited about PHF, but couldn't tell me what that meant. He also mocked my Puma's, because 'they are just for people who want to say 'look I have money and style, but don't work out.' (please note HE was wearing Puma's)

I love my Puma's.

I did something funny with my running choice (it was buy one get one free... Puma's were free... who's bragging about having money now?)... I left Nike *moment of silence* I never thought the day would come. I am NOT an athlete. I don't need fancy shoes. I buy shoes that 'look cool' and are 'socially acceptable'. It helps if feel good, but that is not why I buy shoes. I love Nike. I love Nike+.

But today I will run in Asics.... apparently they are the best for running. We shall see. I even got a fancy doo dad for my Nike+ Sensor, because I can't leave completely.

Also Nike shoes we're all grey and boring to look at. I want FLASHY.  I got flashy. I can't wait to get going, but alas I have  to wait until I get home today.

Ok... I got lost in that doodle.

Something like this...

Friday, October 19, 2012

So Far...

It's been an interesting week... and by interesting I mean: I hate my body and it's not doing what I want this week.

First... sniffles. They snuck up on me and BAM! they had a hold on my nose and I couldn't breath.

Second... Knees. They didn't WANT to run this and when I gave them NO choice they slowed, creaked and gouged my inner soul for the duration of EACH run.

Third... this.

It's a KINK... and not the fun 'tie me up' kind, but the lousy 'I slept funny and everyone hates me' kind. I would roll my eyes, but even THAT hurts!

It's a capital kind of day... funny that I have NO urge to capitalize the word 'capital'.

Now I am looking at everyone sideways and it's making me dizzy. Hmpf.

As for my workouts, I got in EVERYTHING except Yoga (the irony is NOT lost on me) and I only missed Yoga, because the class was cancelled. I was going to make it up today, but then I woke up (at 4a) crooked.

Yesterday I crammed everything into my lunch break, because it looked like rain and I knew I would be feeling lazy come 5pm (which turned out to be 5:30 by the time I got through traffic. Commuting. Is. The. Worst.) and I was right, but that aside I crammed a 30minute elliptical (yes, it should have been 45, but time was a factor), a 25minute run (don't be a stickler) and a '50' work out.

That all meant I could lounge and relax my way through Thursday night TV... but because my body wasn't done being an asshole, even that was tarnished by uncontrollable tears... why? I have NO idea... I think its mainly because I am a girl and girls cry for NO reason.

Anyways... its FRIDAY and my husband will finally be home (or not, he might be busy with friends tonight... #notbitter). I just want to go home and nap this kink away, before hitting the town with my guy.

Whewf... how random can ONE post be.


PS - I need a drink... a stiff drink or something delicious...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I don't have a good book so I didn't work out.

That DOES make sense.

I don't want to put the actual title, because I MIGHT end up
liking the chaos. I will follow up.

You see on Mondays and Tuesday I hop on the elliptical and whirl away my worries with a good book. On Monday I started a new book and spent 35 minutes intrigued, but confused. Then on Tuesday I had NO drive to go read this confusing book and didn't make it down to the gym.

Thus a good book is crucial to my fitness.


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Finally a runner!

445 posts... that what it took for me to FINALLY draw a runner.

Why? Because I AM a runner.

The entire drive home I dreaded the run and even made excuses... I have a headache, its cold, it might rain etc. BUT I made a commitment to myself and I wasn't about to blow it in WEEK TWO.

So last night when I got home I laced up and hit the pavement. Once I was out there it felt better and its only 30minutes; an easy 5k. Whewf.

What I have noticed about my running...

-I run ont he outside edge of my foot and trying to correct that makes me run funny.
-I ALWAYS wear my sunglasses, even when it is past dusk. I feel safer when no one can see the struggle in my eyes.
-I wear mittens to keep my hands warm.
-I compete most with myself, even when it burns (I ran and extra .10km last night)
-Running clears my head and makes me forget what I am angry or upset about.
-I like passing other runners with a wave, like I am a part of a club.
-My shoulders ache LONG before my knees do.
-I dread 50 push-ups MORE then my runs.
-I wonder if my ponytail adds momentum... or drag...
-I long for a running partner.
-Righteous Smoke is a wicked running song and I prefer rock to pop to keep pace.
-Seeing my progress on Nike+ makes it all worth it.

So I ran.

That's it for today.


Monday, October 15, 2012

This Weekend...

... I didn't COMPLETELY fail.

I did fail a little bit, but I don't think it is my fault and here's why; There are NO regular temperature yoga classes on weekends after 12p. The the EFF is that about? Come on Yogi... WTF?!

Although I do feel guilt about aggression towards the masters of Yoga.

I just assumed I would be able to catch a class Saturday or Sunday in the late afternoon. You see, on weekends we try to continue with Richards schedule (night shift) and stay up entirely to late for this girl, which means A LOT of sleeping in. So I wasn't awake before 12p.

I was tempted by Hot Yoga, but can't bring myself to take the risk (elevated core body temperature can (apparently) mess with the quality of your eggs) at this point in my cycle.

I did continue on with the rest of my schedule. I ran on Saturday for 35minutes and completed a '50' workout.

Which means my week was ALMOST a success...

I missed the Monday workouts and the weekend yoga, but otherwise it was a pretty successful week. I did manage to gain 4 pounds, but who knows what that is from or how long it will last... or if it's even correct, my scale is a little wonky.

That's it. That's all I've got for a Monday morning...


Friday, October 12, 2012

What I'm doing to make a difference...

... not in the world, but within myself.

I altered my routine because I got lazy, I made excuses and I thought I was helping (Dr. recommended dropping heavy cardio from my routine while TTC). All it did was strengthen the habits I have been trying to correct.

So, as expected, I gained weight and felt depressed. I had taken away the thing that kept me strong. The intensity of building a work out around sweat, the joy of running my self to the point of exhaustion. And I didn't end up pregnant at all... so why waste my time being miserable with a routine I hate?

If I am meant to be a mother I will be... if I am not meant to carry a child I won't. I can't dance around waiting for things to happen. I need cardio and strength training WITH diet restrictions.... one doesn't work without the other.

What the above ramble is getting to is... DUN DUN DUN my new routine! Weeeee!

I am doing my best to keep all the activities LOW impact (I am not going to completely dismiss doctors orders, I am just not going to take them so literal).

I was going to type out a weekly schedule MONDAYS: this, TUESDAY: that... BUT that NEVER works, because life gets in the way. What I am going to do is below...

1 - Yoga Class
1 - Zumba Class
3 - Run: 30minute  (outdoors)
2 - Elliptical: 45minute
3 - '50' workouts**

1 - Yoga Class
1 - Run: 30minutes
1 - '50' workout

Which isn't as much as it seems and will keep my body guessing... PLUS its fun. I like it and I am capable of doing it... now and when(if) the stork swings by.

The only additional cost is the weekend Yoga class at $15 a class.

I run in the evenings AS SOON AS I get home... which is PRIME snacking time, but by the time I get back from the run do a '50' workout and shower its past snack time and into dinner time.

The weekday Yoga, Zumba and Elliptical I will do on my lunch hour... the same way I have been attending classes for the last TWO years.

The only concern is the weekend workouts... I love spending time with my DH and I only see him on weekends (he refuses to run or do yoga).

I started this week and all I missed was an elliptical workout, because thanksgiving was Monday... I need something to distract me from the baby making and a new work out is just that PLUS I can start tracking my weight and inches again, which died after the wedding, when I started to enjoy my life again.

Summer is over and it is time to get back in to it. I am hoping to drop 20lbs by my birthday unless the stork appears... (I really do have BABY

So what is a '50' workout??? It has nothing to do with 50 shades (is that still topical?? Am I outdated?)


50 Push ups
50 Lunges
50 Squats
50 Crunches
50 second plank
REPEAT (kidding, I can't 'repeat' yet)

So far I have done it after my run; when I am good and sweaty. It seems to be working and 50 is enough of a challenge I am pushing myself, but not too much that I am hurting myself.

I think every two weeks I will add 10. I am working towards 100, but that will take a bit of time.

And it leaves me breathless and sore the next day... I love that feeling. I love the burn... it makes it feel real, which is hasn't felt in a long time.

I want to get back into shape... the shape I was when I had more good days than bad.

And luckily for you that means MORE blog posts. Yipee!


PS - I will add a widget on the side for Nike +, my running app. NOPE doesn't work... and no picture, because I just created an account at Nike+ online and its AWESOME!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Information SUCKS!

Yup, I said it.

I am SO sick of watching my health... monitoring my health... EFF IT. Being aware of my body's issues isn't fixing ANYTHING. It isn't making anything easier.

Knowing about Hypothyroidism and blood clots, miscarriages and symptoms doesn't FIX anything.

I would rather live in naive bliss then the informed HELL I am going through.

EFF you GOOGLE and your endless stream of answers... answers to ridiculous questions.

Screw the recommendations and helpful advice; I want to know NOTHING. I want to bounce through life without EVER worrying about death, disease or destruction. Knowledge is NOT power.

I know I have an issue with Blood Clots... that is NOT going to stop my body from producing them.

I know I have a thyroid handicap... that doesn't help me lose weight or regulate my sleeping patterns.

I know ALL of the symptoms of pregnancy... that doesn't help me get pregnant.

I know all the complications of prostate cancer... that doesn't heal my father.

And all this 'knowing' has just made me angry and bitter. I miss being stupid... I was happy when I was stupid.

How do I UNLEARN everything? How do I clear my head, when I KNOW it’s not possible?

This post was supposed to introduce my current issues as well as discuss my new running schedule, but it all seems pointless now. Nothing I do will change the outcome; no matter how hard I work or how much time I dedicate to each disease... it won't make a difference. I am a broken human being and knowing that sucks.

I might run today, but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to.

I want to wallow.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's a worthy post.

I haven't done anything interesting in the world of fitness lately, in fact my gym life has been down right boring, but its all for a great cause that I can't discuss yet.

Today however, I got roped in to my first Zumba class.

It made me want to be better. A better dancer. A better person. A better woman.

That class is sexy... if you can swing your hips to the music. I can not.

My instructor was gorgeous and she could swing her hips... I was mesmerized and embarrassed to be watching her caboose so closely, but that's where the movement was... the movement I was attempting to mimic; attempting and failing.

It's not that bad I wasn't at the front of the... oh wait YES. I. WAS. I let Anna (the person that roped me in) pick our spots and BAM right in the middle... I might as well have been dancing WITH our instructor.

How embarrassing!

But I was IN IT. I shook, shimmied and wiggled my way through the class... I laughed and lost my place A LOT.

I am very sweaty and a little sore.


I may or may not become a Zumba girl... I like trying new things, which is what this new routine promotes, but I miss my GO TO classes... step, spin and running.


PS - I know I should really illustrate this class, but I can't... it was THAT BAD.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I'll be back!

I am married.

I am honeymooned.

I am back at work.

I am back at the gym.

Please say you still love me!

Check out what I've been doing... and once I am all caught up at work I will be back in FULL swing.


Mrs. P (formally Mrs. F... in case you didn't know)

Monday, May 28, 2012

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What is up with me?!

My tummy is in a constant state of upset... bloated, gurgling and crampy. It's been this way for days. It feels like my insides are too big for my outsides and stretching is the BEST. THING. EVER.

I am still gaining daily, but I don't care... I am more wrapped up in this WTF is my tummy doing fiasco.

As for fitness... I am still at the gym 8 times a week. In fact, this week I just started week 10... which means I am running 8km 3 times a week. I also do Bootcamp, Step and Spin once a week. On my off days I head to the gym, but keep it light on the Elliptical. I started counting my calories again this week and I am doing well. I also started tracking everything I am consuming to try to eliminate anything that could be disrupting my belly... nothing comes to mind. Nothing is new aside from my protein, but I've used this brand before. As for 'gasy' foods, the only thing on the list is Broccoli, which I eat at every meal, but always have without problem.


I want the wedding the stress to be over... I want to get back to my health.

On the health front.... I am trying to find a good face cleanser, I would love to go make-up free at the wedding, but I am struggling to find something affordable, with good reviews... that I can get in Canada. Any ideas?

That's all for today.


Monday, April 30, 2012

Laugh with me!

Happy Monday!

I am going to try and add a 'funny' every Monday... no matter how crummy or cranky I am feeling.


Friday, April 27, 2012


Fibre and I... DO NOT GET ALONG.

That's the only thing I can figure attributed to my 5 pound gain this week, that is a gain from my 'time of the month' weigh in last week, which is always up because of water and womanly things.

I have been bloated and uncomfortable all week... and if we're getting personal.. I am gassy, out of every end. The sneaky burps are the worst! Two days ago I actually burped in Richard's face when he leaned in for a kiss. I had no warning (of the burp, not the kiss) I felt terrible.

The only thing I changed this week (compared to the last few, where I haven't lost, but I haven't gained) is my morning protein shake (Vega Chocolate high fibre) and Fibre one bars. I can't think of anything else that is different. Granted my diet hasn't been overly healthy, but nothing our of the ordinary... and all good foods, aside from the regular chocolate treat :).

I am going to leave the Fibre enhancers at home next week and see if I feel any better.

It could be something completely unrelated... I have been congested the past few days, with an uneasy stomach, terrible acne and random nose bleeds. Let's hope its the fibre... Hmmm...

Oh and I AM NOT PREGNANT... everyone seems to jump to that conclusion with every queasy moment.


Wish me luck...


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Is it true?

Do you have to be a tortured soul to be a good writer? Or to write something worth reading? My best work is when I have been the least interested in life, when dark thoughts have invaded my 'inner subconscious' (redundant?)

I fall back on my writing as an escape... the worse I feel the better the words fall together.

I have also realized that all of my favorite bloggers struggle in some form with a personality disorder, most of which I suffer from, but refuse to let show. I know it is not a choice to be depressed or anxious, but having been clinically diagnosed with both, I fight daily to avoid succumbing to the pressure they put on me, both physically and emotionally... there are weeks when I hate my life, myself and my job.

Is it real maturity when I recognize why I suddenly have a lack luster approach to life? Why nothing seems worth it and I am tired all the time? I know why, but I hate to admit it... I find security in knowing great writers (whom I love) fight the same battles, but why can't writing be something beautiful, magical and amazing? Why do these words have to come from a dark and scary place?

Granted... I am sweetening every syllable from how I am really feeling today. I am dreading the end of day bell, because going home seems so much worse than sitting here.

This all came forward when I intentionally missed my spin class... my favorite class of the week. I watched the minutes disappear and did everything in my power to be 'too busy' to go. I hate myself for it, but the satisfaction of doing the class couldn't compete with the shear pain of considering the class.

What is wrong with me? How do I fix? Where do I find the motivation to make change? Hmpf.

Fibre is working... I'm tired, but its working.


Monday, April 23, 2012


That's the newest plan.

Ok... so I am still at the gym. I am still working hard and leaving everything on the floor, but I am just simply maintaining, because my diet has been SO terrible... all the late night plans and quick meals have added to the plateau.

I recently read that a diet high in fibre was great for continued weight loss. I checked my fibre (on my little Loseit! app) and I don't eat enough. Now don't laugh, but I always thought Fibre came from grains... I would eat bread and smooth the guilt by saying 'I need the fibre'. That's not the case... consider your mind BLOWN. Fibre comes from fruits and veggies or so I understand.

I have started taking a protein shake for breakfast with an increased fibre level as well as daily 'Fibre One' bars to try and 'move things along'. We'll see how it goes. I have also committed to eating healthy. Richard is going to make dinner from here on out to prevent skipped meals and late dinner... especially with bootcamp in the evenings.

I hope it all works out... I love me, but I would love to be a better me by July 1.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

I haven't really felt like blogging.

But I am not going to apologize, because I do that a lot.

Wedding planning is in FULL gear and I find it monopolizes A LOT of my time. I do make it to the gym (or something similar) 8 times a week, but no I haven't lost anything. My diet is crummy right now... with Richard unemployed we're not dropping a lot on grocery and we're trying to clear out the cupboards before we do, but that means a lot of canned and frozen foods have made their way into my diet... not to mention my laziness when it comes to cooking. I have no passion or excitement for the kitchen, honestly I am not hungry enough to want to put forth any effort when I get home. I work an 8 hour day, spend an hour at the gym and than commute 3 hours (round trip). I am not making excuses just explaining where I am coming from.

This past weekend complicated things with stores being closed, Easter and my birthday... which meant no groceries (ie. no fruits or veggies) and a lot of chocolate and cake, although very little alcohol. And to be proud of me... I did wake up the morning of my birthday and go for a 7k run... yes it was meant to be a 3k light run, but I got lost... which has NEVER happen before. Worth the extra burnt calories for the cake I had for breakfast... I just can't be trusted around cake.

As for fitness... where am I in my latest venture? Disappointed. Sadly. From a previous post you know I signed up for Bootcamp and a personal trainer. I scheduled 5 intense weeks and was VERY excited. Fitness is where all this weight loss started and I love it. I was excited to see the results, work up a sweat and be proud of what I am doing again. Let's just say THAT isn't happening and its depressing.

First... I can't completely pass the blame. I haven't been myself lately. I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I don't enjoy things I used to and I've been a bit of bitch to everyone around (sorry). I still go to the classes the gym and the runs, but my hearts not in it and you can tell.

Second... My trainer won't make time for me. The person I am PAYING to spend time with me... doesn't have time for me. How is that for your psyche? It's frustrating to no end... I have always had a problem with feeling like an 'obligation' to people around me and I struggle to find the worth in my time, but than to PAY someone and they still don't have time for you is sad.

I will explain his point of view in a minute, but its my blog and I get to go first. When I met with John for a consultation we spent an hour talking and 30minutes exercising. We talked about my goals and how HE would get me there. He would be my person. After the workout I handed him my card (visa) and said 'I need this, I need you. Sign me up'. I had originally intended just to sign up for Bootcamp (which was all I could afford), but was so THRILLED with the work out he provided I blew the budget and signed up. At the time he should have told me he didn't have time to take on someone new, but he didn't, he simply swiped my card and smiled (naive of me, I know). My first week I went to TWO bootcamps, the first was disappointing (see previous post) we did a lot of heavy weights; the second was better we jumped all over the place, did lots of different moves, I sweat and I was sore the next day, but on my third visit, to the gym on the other side of Burlington that is a PITA to get to, I was suppose to meet with John for my first session. He was with someone else... confused I hopped on the treadmill and waited. After a few minutes Kristen (a young trainer) came over and explained she would be working with me instead of John. I was a little put off, but fine I bet she is great. We worked for 30minutes with a 5lb ball... it was boring and easy. I was disappointed, but thought the next week would be better. Next week rolls around and John cancels with me again claiming something better to do (I'm paraphrasing). Its frustrating, because I only signed up for personal training to work with HIM not a lacky that doesn't know how to work up a sweat.

After the second failed attempt I canceled my Personal Training (and my hope of succeeding) and exchanged them for BootCamps. I don't really want to go back to the gym at all, but I paid for it so I am going to use it all.

As for his side of the story... he is the owner/operator and things come up (I'm not bias... lol).

So its Thursday... I am going to hit the gym with Anna for a Step class and than I am going to go home, eat a burger and watch my TV until it feels better.

I can't wait for it all to be over (Wedding and Stag & Doe... and bootcamp) and I can go back to life...


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Boot Camp - Day 1

Yes, it is time for another 'day 1'. I feel like I have had a lot of these on this path. I need a beginning to have an end and I needed something to push me into doing this. I know I will be mad at the wedding if I know I didn't try to lose the weight and get in shape. Granted, I won't be perfect... but trying makes it OK to fail. I am putting all I have into this and I will be happy with whatever comes out of it.

I hope.

So I went to Boot Camp and how was it? different. I am sore today, which is good but it wasn't the experience I expected. I remember Boot Camp with Carrie and it was this intense hour of cardio, strength and endurance. This wasn't that.

Carrie's camp was designed for women that wanted to lose weight... ie. cardio.

John's camp is designed for men that want to build muscle... ie. weights.

I am not sure how I feel about it all yet. I am just glad I ran my 5k Monday at lunch, which partnered well with a heavy strength Boot Camp.

Now the dirt... the gym was, as I explained before, 'a work in progress'. The people are amazing... Paul was our instructor and it just happen that John was beside me in class, great. The camp is inside within the 'gym' and I felt very exposed. The average gym-goer could stand and watch us work, which, as a newbie, was intimidating. All the equipment is provided (which I like) and the guidance is very hands on. Carrie was less about posture and more about sweat, where as John is more about posture, I like the guidance to know I am getting the most out of my work out and not straining anything (that shouldn't be strained).

Then we worked... no warm up, no laps, no jumping jacks just straight into the weights. Now that I know the format I will come early and hop on the treadmill for a quick run before camp. We did work with the ball and a step, weights and each other. It felt competitive but motivating. I wanted to keep up with everyone else, which proved to be a challenge... I was the only fattie in the camp... everyone one else was tight and toned (and struggle just as much as me... go me!).

I didn't leave breathless and covered in sweat, but I left satisfied. I will go back but more because I paid for it and less because I enjoyed it.

I am hoping Wednesday's camp is a bit more exciting.

I have spinning today... so we'll see how that goes with my tired legs.

I think my routine works now... I have cardio here, at my gym (at work), I have arms/strength in boot camp and I have abs and back with personal training... if this doesn't work to kick start my weight loss I don't know what will.

Wish me continued luck!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I did it.

I got sucked into the hype! I now have a personal trainer AND I signed up for Boot Camp. Hmpf. What can I say the adrenaline was pumping and I was sweaty... sweaty and happy, which made me willingly hand over my credit card. Hmpf.

That aside I am pretty excited about working with John (my new trainer) and testing out Boot Camp. I love taking on new fitness challenges... they work for me and I can't wait to see what will happen over the next 5 weeks. Yes, 5 weeks of pain. Ironically it all wraps up the week of my next dress fitting.... I am hoping for inches loss and aiming for 15-20lbs of loss.

We'll see.

Now the experience. I had a 'consultation' last night, this was to include a 'chat' and an introductory work out. I was nervous (I always am heading to a new gym) and anxious to get on with it. I found the gym (on the far side of Burlington) and was a little disappointed when I first walked in... there was a smell, the place was disorganized and unfinished. I was little concerned, but I waited at the front and finally a incredibly buff guy greeted me. I knew by the intensity in his eyes it was John. The very same John I tried to cancel on a week earlier. We shook hands and he handed me a stack of paperwork to fill out. I sat at a rickety old table with a empty pen and did my best to fill out the paper work all the while wondering if I was wasting my time. After about 20minutes (I was early and her was with a client) he came to say hello. In those 20 minutes though I had met a group of older women who had nothing but praise for John and the gym.

Anyways I meet with John and he goes over my, what think are impressive, papers. I am already doing so many of the things he suggests... including water intake, vitamins, limit caffeine, dairy and wheat. I think he is intrigued, We venture into his office for a closed door meeting... the nitty gritty of what I need and why I need it. At this point I find out that the venue is new, like 3 weeks new, and the renos aren't done, but due to circumstances they had to move early... all my concerns, were in the process of correction... correction to the point of awesome and I can't wait to see the finished product.

I told John that his intensity scared me... that I was nervous about the pain he would inflict on me if I decided to stay with me. He laughed, but seemed excited to work with me as well. I weighed in... (ew) and he measured me... then we hit the gym. I was excited to show him all I had accomplished over the last 2 years... he was going to be impressed by my skill level - ha!

I started on the treadmill for 5 minutes at his pace (exhausting) and then we grabbed a mat and hit the floor. After 20 minutes of intense (and painful) floor exercises I was sweating and throbbing, but in love. I knew I was a goner and I would sign up for anything he asked for... it didn't stop there... than we started legs (that were already aching) and arms. Every exercise was quick and concise... I didn't have a second to think or get bored. I was so charged afterwards... I love a good work out, a good sweat. I love making a difference and feeling like I am on my way to something.

John will lead me to something.

After it all I poured my sweaty, lumpy body into a chair and asked 'what's next?' He said I could sign up for Boot Camp. I asked 'what is I want more?' (because I did). He told me I could do the introductory package for personal training, which was 4 action packed sessions. I did some mental calculating (do my own hair for the wedding, tan outside and use the make up I have) I could afford 5 weeks. And so i signed up for 5 weeks... because I would rather lose the weight and feel good at my wedding than be tanned in perfection.

I start on Monday. I am so sore today, but can't wait for Monday. 5 weeks... wish me luck!

Love! (and pain)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Poll = Fail

How can you rely on a poll when only 3 people participate AND each pick a different answer?? Hmpf. I am blaming the poll-fail on my lack of entries lately. Which is completely unfair. I haven't done much on the fitness front... I was really hoping for input, because I honestly didn't have an opinion... so in the aftermath of this fail I decided to do ALL three, bet you didn't see that coming!

Tomorrow I am meeting with John for a full fitness assessment, if I pass I can go to the bootcamp. And having this 'test' makes me want it even more. I know I will do it fine, but I'm anxious.

I spoke with Kerry (at my gym) today about personal training and am hoping to meet with Jill for a consultation this week.

If those both fail I will call Barbara about the in home training.

Wish me luck... something has to click in soon, because I have no motivation to do anything. I hate being a lazy lump, but I can't seem to get out of the funk.

I did over come my need to weigh in daily, but that is more because of my lack of trying. I don't want to see the daily fluctuations. I weighed in this morning and I haven't lost or gained. hmpf.

On that note... as much as I am a lazy lump I haven't missed a day at the gym, I am on week 5 of a new running schedule (C210k) and I have been doing ab work at night. I am not doing nothing, but I need to be doing more... especially since I am sitting here eating a cookie. Atleast it is homemade so there are a lot of chemicals and stuff... always the optimist.


Monday, March 19, 2012

Let's get back to fitness.

I have been off not doing anything productive, for what feels like WEEKS! I haven't made any progress anywhere nor have I been motivated to do anything beyond the basic work outs... yes, I still hit the gym 5 times last week, but no I didn't lose anything or gain anything. I don't feel better or worse just disappointed. I wanted to re start the detox in time for my naturopath appointment, but I am just not motivated to do it. Its expensive and time consuming and honestly I need to do something that takes less thought and consideration... I am planning a wedding for dang sake and it is the MOST stressful thing I have ever been through, let alone trying to count every calorie and read every package in great detail while shopping every three days to have fresh fruit in the house... whewf! I also don't want to spend hours in the kitchen everyday preparing everything. In short I know my strengths and its not dieting... its exercise.

I have cancelled my Naturopath appointment and I have allotted those funds to a personal trainer... or I will once the poll closes, because I am stumped on the decision and need your help. I feel bonded and connected to you, my readers, and I suspect you know what is best for me. PLUS it will be fun to do something new and have daily blog updates of the insanity that will ensue.

I need to be accountable and I need to do something new... I am great at finding loop holes, which why I can't do the same thing twice... I did the calorie cutting, portion control, running schedule, detoxing, naturopath visits... I need to shake things up and I thought a new fitness regime would be the ticket.

I have THREE options...

Option 1 - Work with a trainer in my current gym. I have a gym at work in my building and i could sign up for a personal trainer there. I could use my lunch hours to work with someone instead of elliptical, running and classes BUT then I lose my cardio time, which I enjoy. I could make that up with running outdoors now that the weather is nice.

Option 2 - I could ADD a trainer to my current regime, outside of my gym. Which means I could continue with what I am doing to maintain my weight, but add something in the evenings for more direction. I feel like I am motivated to hit the gym 4 days a week and that the true pit fall to my routine is when I get home and lose all momentum to do anything. This option includes an at home trainer... a woman that would come to my house, with her own equipment and work with me outside of work hours.

Option 3 - Boot camp, which I have had success with in the past. This is another strike to motivating me after hours, when I struggle the most. This is a boot camp that i haven't done before, but seems pretty intense. It would be twice a week in a class of 15. Its less personalized with less accountability, but also less expensive which is a huge help.

There you have it... I am going to pick one. I just don't know which one. They all have perks and pitfalls. Option 1 is the easiest and cheapest, but overlaps with what I am currently doing and takes away from my workout time, rather than adding to it. Option 2 seems ideal, but the cost scares me. Option 3 is my favorite, because I love Boot Camp-esque things, but the location could be a challenge and if I can't get to the classes on time they are no good to anyone.

Please help me.

I want to make a decision by the end of the week... check out the poll on the left.

Thanks! I will let you know the outcome as soon as the poll closes and I promise to do whatever you ask of me.

It like a 'choose your own adventure' but I'm not a book and I'm not truly choosing my own adventure... you are. So I guess its not really the same at all. Hmmm...


Friday, March 9, 2012

Have you ever been overwhelmed by happy?

Yesterday I was... I couldn't even give the good news my full attention, because it all came at me SO fast. We're not going to talk about fitness in this blog... I skipped yoga to celebrate last night. I know... silly me.

Anyways, the last couple of months I have felt under appreciated, over worked and stalled at work. I accepted that I work to live and I don't live to work, but I have a pretty cool job (writing and voicing commercials for radio)... the last few months have been insanely busy with new programs (I developed) and new staff (I trained). I was feeling burnt out, under appreciated and honestly contemplated throwing up my hands and being a house wife. (There is the perk to Richard's unemployment... as the only income I had to tuck tail and keep quiet). I just wasn't getting the joy or excitement out of my job. The wedding planning had added to my stress, and the health issues added to the frustration. It's been a battle field inside my head for the last few months, willing myself forward, but finding NO pleasure in any of it.

Anyways (my get back to the point word)... yesterday I was honored by work, during a staff meeting (aka... swanky drinking party... its a radio thing). I was called to the front and awarded employee of the month. I also found out I am the only member of my team to make it to the finals at the 2012 Crystals (a radio industry award for creative writing and production). Amazing, right?! So that feels good and most of my animosity towards my current position was gone. I even got a large bouquet of flowers... that I had to carry home on the train (the one day I take public transit, figures!).

So that is amazing and I am grinning about it, but then I get an email telling me this other writing venture, I'm involved in, is being moved forward. I can't talk about the details, but it is probably the most amazing thing EVER! It involves testing motorcycles... I've already said too much.

Then on the train, with the large bouquet, grinning from ear to ear I get a phone call and the serving job I applied to (for extra wedding money and because I am not busy enough) wants to sit down and figure out a start date, because I am awesome.

AND THEN I get home to Richard and an amazing surprise, which involves a NEW Lululemon outfit. Eeeeee!

It was a good day to be me. I am a little overwhelmed with all my options, but its good. Its all good. Hopefully I can get things squared away and rolling to get this wedding paid off and my stress level down.

Ummm... Oh yea, AND I get to go see my wedding dress FOR. THE. FIRST. TIME. today.

I was afraid after a day like yesterday nothing would compare, but seeing my dress is pretty damn spectacular.

And finally in an effort to bring it back to fitness... Cassy and I are trying a Yoga Class tonight that includes LIVE music. It should be fun.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

I suppose...

... I should write something. I have nothing to discuss. I have been going to Hot Yoga, fighting with Walter, drinking and gaining weight. Yes, that is how I deal with frustration, when I cancelled my Naturopath appointment it all went down hill, but I had no guidance of structure... I know she is going to give me hell when I do see her (on April 2nd), but I just can't do it. I have no drive, especially when it doesn't work and costs SO much. I figured out that I can do a 3 week detox that will end on April 2 if I start on March 12th. That way I might be able to salvage things and avoid a lecture, but I don't know.

I want to healthy, but Walter is working to dismiss all my efforts. I hate that guy.

As for where I am at with treatment. He swells everytime I do Hot Yoga... I don't know why, but I am not going to stop. I feel refreshed and stretched after every practise. Screw You, Walter! I stopped all drops, but that was a while ago. I just can't bring myself to make things worse. I found out yesterday I am on NO waiting list for the specialist as my GP forgot to call and tell me she isn't accepting new patients. I found a second choice and am waiting hear when my appointment is. Cross your fingers it is before the wedding... months before would be ideal. I don't want them fishing around in there weeks before the wedding and possibly mucking everything up.

That's it. Stress is killing me with this wedding planning trying to please everyone... I want the day I want, but I hate how many broken relationships it is causing.

Ok... this ramble is making me sad and thoughtful, it is too rainy to be sad as well.


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

So MUCH things to discuss!

Yes, I aware that is grammatical in correct, but there are 'much' things I need to write about.

Let's talk about yesterday... 3 workouts. I already talked about the first two, but the third... what an interesting experience. I joined Cassy for a Hot Yoga Detox class last night..

Detox Vinyasa - A gentle Vinyasa flow suitable for all levels. The intention of this practice is to detoxify the mind and body by stimulating, cleansing and nourishing from the inside out.
What an amazingly intense and eye opening class. It is what I always expected Hot Yoga to be; not just poses in a hot room, but chanting, breathing techniques and spiritual connections and thanks. Now, I am not a granola, I don't buy into all the hype, but this class made me feel centred calm and refreshed. We worked through the Vinyasa flow to 'ring out' every organ and increase blood flow. We worked our diaphragm through intense breathing exercise and lots of holding. I can't even begin to describe.

Trish ended with a prayer, which I am trying to find and it just made everything make sense. I love yoga, I love feeling at one with my surroundings.

You know who doesn't like Yoga... Walter.

Last night as we were 'ringing out' our glands Walter screamed as I cut of circulation to him and then forced blood to rush through him and my every other creature living in my throat. No one else reacted as poorly as Walter... this morning I woke up to a large, hard lump in my throat, more so to the right side. The discomfort has returned... in the second picture, you can kind of his him; fully extended. WTF?! I have to make an appointment with my doctor for another ultrasound, this is getting past funny into annoying. I am read to part ways with Walter... even if that means surgery. Which let's hope it doesn't, although hospital time means ICE CREAM (guilt free) and TEDDY BEARS!

As I sit here typing this Walter is pushing on my esophagus, making me want to swallow continuously. Hmpf.

Finally (of my much things) I pulled out the scale this morning. Look, 3 times a week is still better than 3 times a day. Baby steps. The results are positive though... I have lots a few pounds and maybe I missed a disheartening increase. Who knows? I put the scale away until Friday for my offical weigh in.

That's it and I think that is 'much'.


Pounds to Lose: 18

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

THREE work outs today!

Yup! I am insane... and punishing myself for my cupcake dinner last night. I made them from scratch (added cinnamon and brown sugar), to celebrate Richards new job, and had to try then. They were YUMMY. I actually only had one, but I licked the bowl clean (my favorite part of baking). Anyways... I am feeling guilty and wanted to work towards something, hold myself accountable and make sure I worked off the excess calories.

And a pleasant surprise, which prompted the 3 workouts instead of the planned 2, Anna caught me in the elevator on the way to the gym. She was also on the way to the gym... Now Anna is a rail, but works hard on her diet to keep the pounds off, not obsessively, but realistically. She just happens to be one of my close friends. We've never hit the gym together... mainly because I am doing heavy cardio to drop weight and she is doing strength training to sculpt.

So... we're in the elevator on the way to the gym, my intentions are to do the noon spin class or take a spin around the elliptical should the class be full (which it has been lately). Anna insisted I do the step class with her.. thus I signed up for the step class (1). After class she decided to stick around for the Abs and Back class; I am WAY TOO competitive to back down so I stayed (2). All the while knowing I have a 75 minutes Detox Yoga class tonight with Cassy (3). I am a little sore and SURE I will regret this in the morning, but its all for something and I feel good
about it.

The only downside is Walter... I haven't felt him in a few days, but he was clearly in Step Class with me. I wish he would just F*** off!

I also haven't been on the scale since Sunday... I know 2 days, big deal. It is huge to me. I even cried about it to Richard last night to a dominate 'just don't do it'. If it were that simple I wouldn't have hidden the scale... ha!

Ok... I am ranting, see you tomorrow.

Wish me luck tonight.

Pounds to Lose: ???

Monday, February 27, 2012

Feeling better...

... I went to the gym. I am feeling better.

I hate that my previous post got so much attention and I am feeling guilty about complaining so much. I have a good life and I shouldn't be so down on myself or Richard... things will work out, even if its not the way I want.

Although my salad today SUCKS!


Pounds to Lose: ???


Ok... I am having a stressful day week month life. I am about at my limit and I am not sure what to do about it. My first attempt to remain calm is yoga, my second is hiding the scale and sadly my third is finding another job; not to replace my current one, but to add to it... because at the end of the day I have BARRELS of energy left to work a double shift. I wish I had a choice, but with my partners inability to retain a job and my lack of enthusaim over losing my house I don't have a choice.

It's going to challenge my health, my career and my relationship, but again I don't have a choice. I can't live in constant fear relying on someone else to help me, as always I am doing this alone and need to learn that the only person that is EVER going to bail me out, is me.

It hurts to realize this, but I need to push that aside and just get it done. I wish everyone in my life had the same drive and motivation, but sadly they don't... I live in the world of yuppies, young adults afraid to get their hands dirty. I wondered what would snap me out of this priviledged mind set and force me back into my poverty ways.

So let's recap... because I am feeling VERY self loathing at the moment.

1. I have thyroiditis, which drains my energy and makes me fat
2. I have hypothryoidism which does the same as #1 but in a more subtle fashion.
3. I just had a tooth yanked out of my face and my benefits DIDN'T cover the extraction.
4. My partner isn't working and has given up hope.
5. My line of credit is MAXED from wedding crap.
6. I am planning a BIG wedding that I never wanted.
7. I'm fat and can't do anything about it.
8. I just got my annual raise (from my career) and it was less than $10 a pay cheque.
9. My career is overly demanding with little reward.
10. I have no friends or family to lean on.

That's about it... yes, I took a stride in the weight loss battle by hiding the scale and not beating myself up over every pound, but that's just another stress, because I can't control it.

I am feeling very alone and very down... what if this is my life? What if I will always carry the weight of the world on my shoulders? What if it never gets easier? The worst part is I can handle it... so no one worries, but I should't have too and I don't want too... I thought having a partner meant I never had to go through this alone... now I am up to my eye balls in debt, because I tried to live a life I couldn't afford.


I am going to hit the gym today and hopefully it picks up my mood, because today I don't even want to go home.

On the upside... no sign of Walter this week.


Friday, February 24, 2012

Thank GOODNESS for friends!

I understand you can't pick your family (and I wouldn't), but your friends; they are amazing people you CHOOSE to share life with. I don't have more than a handful of good friends and sometimes, with the wedding tension, the list is short but the few I have that have held on... thank you or as the song says... "Thank you for being a friend, traveling down the road and back again" and because my singing has never been good.... a video!

And if we're talking Golden Girls I might be 'Rose'... a little flighty, but very nice. Although I might be closer to 'Sophia' with my smart mouth and questionable ethics, but Rose is just so damn loveable.

Anyways... back on track. I had a crummy day, yesterday. My face hurt and my gums throbbed, I couldn't eat anything of good taste and work was hectic, but at the end my good friend Cassy pulled me out of the funk and dragged me to Hot Yoga. I am so glad she was there to pull me along, the class was amazing and just what I needed to feel recharged. Cassy is new to me (although its almost 4 years), but she is quickly becoming my closest and dearest friend. I blame the wedding... we get together weekly to gossip and brainstorm about my wedding. So, as much as I hate the damn thing a friendship is blooming because of it.

As for Hot Yoga... I nearly popped a stitch. YEE-OW! I knew it was going to be a tough class... any work out in high heat, that is over an hour is going to be tough, but this wasn't any ordinary Hot Yoga class this was Hot Yoga Cross Fit; a completely different beast.

Yoga Cross (Burlington) - A physically intense yoga class focusing on body conditioning, strength, endurance and core work. Feel your body and spirits lighten as you improve your body composition and work towards your personal weight management goals.
Yea, sounds fun... right?! It was GREAT! I almost cried and sweat A LOT, but I left feeling good, strong and powerful. I can't wait for Saturday to go again. And this time I won't take my pain killers so close to class ;)
I always feel like I am rambling, but I was so excited to have something fitness-esque to write about I didn't take the time to structure the blog, like I normally do. Yes, all of this chaos is typically planned... sorry to ruin the magic.

As for my health... my face seemed to explode last night and I fell asleep in a drug induced coma, but I feel ok today. Still sore, a little tender, but managable. Walter seems to be leaving again, but you never can be sure with him, he's a tricky little guy.

The weekend is here and I can't wait to get started! For the first time is 4 weeks I will be drinking wine... my favorite thing, only second to chocolate (Richard is a close third). It will be nice to relax with one of my new labels. *deep sigh*

Have a good weekend... stay healthy, happy and strong. (That's the yoga talking ;)


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Walter is back!

WITH AVENGENCE!! Stupid thyroid. I just get a handle on things and my mouth blows up shooting infection down my throat along with immense pain. Hmpf.

Walter has grown to a ridiculous size, seemingly over night, he is not happy about the new pill regime and/or the loss of a tooth. I can't be sure about the reason he is back, but I am angry about it. I skipped the gym today... my balance is still wonky and my head is sore.

I am suppose to go to Hot Yoga with Cassy tonight...we'll see how I feel. It would be nice to work up a sweat, but I don't want to push myself to hard and cause more harm then good.

On the other side I cancelled my Naturopath appointment... its just too much for me to take in right now. I re-scheduled, but couldn't get an appointment until April. I guess I am 'detoxing' until then. We'll see how everything unfolds once I can chew, work out and sleep again. I feel like a lost cause some days.

I will keep you posted on my progress... my face is still swollen and it hurts to smile.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wednesday post!

Filleted was COMPLETELY accurate. What a night! Half way through one appointment, numb up through my ear, my dentist hits gold, smelly infected gold. The whole room stinks and I am in a world of unexplained pain. Turns out I had a serious infection tucked under one bad tooth, which isn't the reason I went to the dentist in the first place. Nothing hurt (or smelled) until she started poking around.

Now reading this blog you know I have bad teeth... it runs in the family and I am the unlucky kid that loses a molar every year. I am working on implants, but those suckers are expensive.

Back to last night... I am immediately rushed (30k away) to an oral surgeon so he can cut away at my gums and pull out the decaying tooth, that wasn't a problem until my dentist started poking around (can you sense the bitterness????) Finally after 4 hours I am leaving the second dentist office of the day and on my way home, missing a tooth and $600 further in debt. What a scam.

I have a handful of pain meds to take and 4 prescriptions to fill.

Now the interesting part of ALL Of this... first, my dentist said she remembered this infection from 2010... why she didn't do anything then, I don't know. Second, this infection, based on the size and length of it, could be the viral infection that forced my body to attack my thyroid, enter thyroiditis. Hmmm... It all could make sense if I wasn't hopped up on pain killers.

And only because I love you... a picture of my chubby little face.

Wish me luck!
Don't judge me... its early and I am on meds... ha!

Tuesday's POST

I cant blog today (today being Tuesday). For some reason unknown to thistechno peasant the screen wont load. What do you think of the name? My boss says it every time she needs me to fix her computer, most times it involves adouble click or aright click, but I smile an oblige. She is my boss after all. Anyways I have so much to say, but cant get it out to the world because of technical issues.

I like to make lists (which is a new thing, bare with me).

1. Happy belated family day. I spent the day alone and a little with friends, best long weekend yet.

2. I tried a new class Hot Yoga Pilate's. My inner thighs are burning and I feel uncomfortable. I think it was a good class, but I cant compare it to anything I have willingly done before. It felt more like punishment and the instructor seemed genuinely disappointed in my inability to keep my knees up FOR. 60. MINUTES.

3. I missed Spin class. I have been excited about this class ALL year, which is accurate, considering were only on week 9 of the new year more accurately were ALREADY ON WEEK NINE?! I was late to sign up and the class was full I hit the Elliptical for a good workout I am still sweaty.

4. I worked out EVERY day of the long weekend, which is completely unheard of. I ran 5k on Saturday (which was great). I did a 45 minute workout with Nike Fit Club on Sunday (which was less great) and then the Hot Pilate yoga thing from #2 on Monday. I am proud as a peacock at the moment.

5. Everyone around me is eating chips free chips and I want chips.

6. We themed our Stag & Doe I also sent out a Facebook invite. There will be more to come on this blog, but until then check THIS out. Oh yea and its COPS & ROBBERS awesome, right?!

7. I am back in FULL detox mode with ONE revision Chocolate. I am never giving it up again. It makes me happy, keeps me sane and is good for my soul. I love chocolate *deep sigh*

8. I have a dentist appointment tonight which may prevent a heavy workout tomorrow TWO HOURS in the chair getting everything filled, filed and filleted (not quite, but I needed anf).

9. Friday I have a meeting with Nicole to review my progress, which brings me to #10.

10. Walter is gone. The swelling in my neck is also gone I cant feel him when I swallow or when I massage my thyroid (by which I mean poke it and pester it into working). Nothing has changed in the way of my Hypothyroidism, but I stopped the drops I couldnt keep it up. The symptoms, beyond the swelling, were too much to tolerate. My skin and hair were a mess, my mood was low and my weight was rising. I am off the drops and feel better AND if this is all I can get out of my thyroid…. I will TAKE it!

I think that is everything you have missed over the long weekend everything of relevance. I do have a sad sobbing story about trying to by a bustier, but you might have to click over to the wedding blog for that. Which by the way is ALSO not working.

All my love!