Tuesday, May 31, 2011

One day!

hours! Hours! JUST A FEW HOURS!

Can you believe it... in a few hours I will be in my new home and away from the crazy! Woo!

I am excited. I also have my final appointment with Nicole... a last weigh in, before I am left to my own devices. I wish I was down today, but with the bloating... I am up. Damn!

That's it. I need to kill time today... so far this morning has been great. Russell Peters was in studio and so was Mathew Morrison... I have been awkwardly staring at them for the last hour... hehe


Monday, May 30, 2011


Can you blame me? I have A LOT going on, but I am not making excuses.

I slacked for the last week... that time of the month is my biggest excuse. I let it all hang out... I enjoy chocolate and treats to soothe the cramps and I blame the weight gain on water retention... its all BS! I slack and I am fat. ARGH!

2 days until the move. I am eating right, but not making it to the gym... I have a lot to do and will make it all up next week when I live on my own and have NO stress in my life ;)

TWO DAYS!!! Just think I started this countdown at 96... whewf!


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I did it!

Yup! On Saturday I hit my goal. I strayed from it on Sunday and Monday and even a little bit today, but on Monday I hit my goal. It only took me 15 months, but successfully lost 47 pounds, 5% body fat and over 23 inches.


I celebrated with a BIG bowl of ice cream... not kidding.

I have also revised my goal for another 15 pounds, by Christmas. And another 10 pounds by July 1, 2012.

I feel good about all of it. I never thought I would get this far (I have set this goal MANY times). I think its... wait this is going to get gooey... Richard. He is so supportive. I don't have to hide anything and he makes sure to reward me with all kinds of cuddles. Dorky... I know, but I love when he hugs me and comments on finally being able to get his arms around me.

I needed to prove to him and myself, that I am capable of losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight. I want babies and I don't want to fear the scale with every pregnancy.

On another note...

8 days! 8 Days! 8 DAYS!!

No more double digits... next week, we move out of Acton and into adulthood. Woo!

I am hoping to get to spinning class today, but I have SO much work to do (because I am off most of next week and the following week).



Friday, May 20, 2011

12 days!

12 days and 0.6 pounds... those are my countdowns. Woo!

I wish I was in the mood to really celebrate, but yesterday's post has its ramifications (not the post) the fight. Being at the house (which is not a home) is killing me. It's a tension filled death trap and I loathe going there every night.

It was hard last night to go home and be polite. I lack those acting skills. I kept to myself and it seems to appease the masses, but in their happy little bubble they believe everything is fine. Why would they be upset THEY are getting what they want???


The only upside is its only a few more days till I have my own space, where I can be apart of the rule making. Richard is wonderful and I love him so much... he has temper tantrums like his mother, but his I can defuse and still come to a compromise we are both satisfied with.

That begs the question... Can you love your spouse and despise their family? Is it really a package deal?

Other exciting news... Cassy found her wedding dress! She said it was a terribly traumatic experience, but worth it for the dress she found. I am so happy for her! I wish the news would have come at a time I didn't hate weddings and all they entail, but I think I mustered up enough excitement to keep her on that 'I just found my dream dress, and I am marrying the man of my dreams' high.

Anyways... I am going to take my negativity else where.

Happy Long Weekend!! Three WHOLE days trapped in my Fiances Mothers house.

Love! (?)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

See the below post...

...for countdown. Something fishy is happening in bloggerland.

I feel like I haven't attended this blog in a long time. In fact, I don't even feel like I have been ME in a long time. With so much change going on in my life its a lot to take in.

The change is in 13 days I will be living in a house with my beloved and NO parents. You can't begin to understand what my life is like... let's just say I was devastated when the blogger address 'mycrazymotherinlaw' was taken. Yes, I looked for it. And yes, I went to the blog to compare her scary mother-in-law stories with my own and was incredibly disappointed when it was an abandoned blog!! No posts!! Oh the things I could tell you!!

Let's start with Tuesday nights dinner. We sat down to eat (not me, I cook for myself early in the evening) and Richard decides it is time to discuss our latest revelation, that getting married in Italy would be amazing (I assume you agree, only a fool would not). We thought we could have an amazing life experience and get married in a castle all for less than half the cost of the traditional wedding I am being forced to plan, which doesn't even include a honeymoon.

**Side note: I hate weddings and all they entail. Its a waste of A LOT of my money.

Anyways, we decided to open up the discussion to his very close minded parents. I thought they would object, but still be up for discussion. I have never been SO wrong. His father went from happy to quiet and pissed off while avoiding eye contact and his mother nearly died. Literally! And did I mention I AM paying for the wedding? She stopped breathing, starting convulsing and crying, the entire time staring directly into my eyes with a look of pure hatred.

**Side note: This was not my idea, but it would be eloping ALONE in Italy.

She shook for a solid 30 minutes unable to speak, eat or think. She refused to discuss it. Now the biggest frustration is the fact that my fiance took this childish temper tantrum has a reason to call of the Italian wedding we were both so excited about only an hour ago. This put me into a fit of rage. I have never hated my life, that family or this house more than I did in that selfish moment.

That is why I deserve the 'mycrazymotherinlaw' address. On top of all of that she is still excited about planning this money pit of a wedding in southern Ontario. My quiet rebellion? No more planning. I will show up on the day of and that's it. Let them figure out the details.

Than this happen...

... and I feel better.

I am a foodie. Let's see what the scale says tomorrow. Still 1 pound away from my goal.. ARGH!

Please comment and tell me I am not a terrible person. I feel bad blogging about my mother in law, but it is this or physically hurt myself... i thought this was a better option. ARGH! 13 days! Thank god!

13 days!! 13 days!! 13 days!! 13 days!!So... apparently this entire entry is going to be in big text. My computer freezes everytime I try to correct it. Sorry.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I love cookies!

15 days to go and I still have 2 pounds to lose. You know why? Because I love cookies! I can't stop myself its a disgusting compulsion to have ALL the cookies. I can be fuller than full, having just enjoyed a nutrient rich home cooked meal, but you bring out the cookies and I want them. So badly I inhale them so I don't have to share as if the cookies in front of me are the last cookies on earth and I need them so badly I am going to DIE without them.

I find ways to justify them. Reasons to avoid guilt (which never seem valid after the cookie is digested and the scale remains the same).

I also eat well ALL day. i pack a sensible lunch that abides by ALL the rules set out for me by the naturopath. I even go home to my sugar loaded (in-laws) house and avoid everything... until the cookies come out. I can do my best to avoid the cookies, but even the thought of them will pull me out of a dead sleep into a primal rage of craving.

I hate myself for it. If I truly cut out ALL cookies... I would be so far past my goal it would be impossible to even remember PRE GOAL Melanie, but alas I love cookies. They are my crack.

I do need to get a grip on this those. I have a past filled with binging and purging. I sometimes get sucked into that lifestyle again, even with all my knowledge. I always do my best to be healthy, but the GOD DAMNED COOKIES get me every time!!!

Ok... rant over. Sadly all I can think about now is cookies.

I did a wicked spin class today and I can't wait to hop on the scale tonight and see my progress. It is my first mini meeting with Nicole.

A mini meeting is a quickie appointment to weigh-in and ask a question (if need be). I am not being charged for this, because my Naturopath is that amazing. She got into the business to help people and when I explained my financial plight she offered to help and I love her for it.

I will let you know how it goes tomorrow... tomorrow when there will be only 14 days to go!


Friday, May 13, 2011

We're into the teens!

And I am not talking about the weather, although yes, finally we're into the high teens.

I am talking about my MOVE! 19 days... I can sleep longer than that. I am NOT ready either. I pretend to be ready and while the countdown was looming in the forties I did FEEL ready, but right now I realize I am not. I am not at all. I am anxious and scared of the next 19 days. I feel over whelmed and tired... all of this is of course in the BEST way possible.

I am also at a standstill... I still have 2 pounds to lose. TWO stupid stubborn pounds. I also realized that I do have a pattern... I stalled at 22 pounds to go, again at 17, 12, 7 and now 2. Every 5 pounds I plateau for 3 weeks. I am on week two.

I am so close to my goal it is killing me.

I am also anxious about this evening. It's girls night... dinner and a movie (Bridesmaids, yay). I know I will be forced into temptation everywhere. Not because I want to be, but because I will be hungry with few options. I don't want to inflict my new found restrictions on my hostess. Bah!

Wish me luck and HAPPY WEEKEND!


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

3 weeks!

You know where I will be in 21 days?!?!

Yup, 3 weeks, 21 days... only a few more hours (504 actually) until the big day. I couldn't be more excited! Yay!

I am happy today. I don't have an overwhelming reason why... I was late for work, it cost me $52 to fill my hatchback and I am slightly nauseous, but I'm happy and I am not going to let it waver.

I am back on track from the weekend... not that I had lost track, but I still only have 2 pounds to loose. I am THRILLED. I might hit the goal this week... it might be early next week, who knows?!

I did a wicked spin class and I feel like I am finally catching up. For the longest time (2 years) I attended class every week and still it got harder with every class. I did research into my disease, figuring there has to be SOME reason why I can't seem to build the muscles needed to keep up with Kerri. I read a few articles about the muscle growth in people with Hypothyroidism and the lack of memory, but nothing substantial. For now I just had to except I will never be a spinner... BUT the point (long winded at that) is that I am not starting to remember, at least my muscles are. I can feel myself getting stronger and I love it.

Maybe this Detox thing is a hoax, but it feels good and I am happy about that. That is why I am happy... my body is working, finally.

On another muscle related note... my body fat percentage is down 5%!!! Why is that so amazing? Besides the fact that that is a lot... because for 2 years (since I started this fitness thing) I have been at 45% body fat. I doubted the scale and hated that I could never make that number move... keeping in mind i have lost 40 pounds and still it read 45%. In the last 6 weeks it has dropped to 40.8%... still high for me, but at least it is finally moving. Woo!

Part of me things its the fact that I am actual conscious of what I am consuming. The other part things its the 25 minutes of weights I do every night. EVERY NIGHT... go me! I have never been this consistent and I have never had these results... something has to be connected.

I use 7 pound weights and while I watch TV I do arm work (I want a strapless gown at my wedding, it is HUGE motivation). I rarely realize how long i have been doing it, changing sets when I just can't squeeze out one more repetition.

Ok... ramble is over.

This was suppose to be a quick post... oh well.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

22 days and counting!

Yes! A little over 3 weeks and I am gyrating in my chair with excitement. I feel like there is SO much going on that after the fact I am going to feel a little empty. No more countdowns... I mean I should hit my weight countdown before the move (projected date, as per Loseit!, May 20th).  Then I move and everything has a chance to settle. Will I get bored? I do have a wedding to plan, but that's no fun.

On another fitness related event... I had to poke new holes in my belt. It was simply TOO big and I haven't had time to go buy another. I am also sure when I dig out my stuff from the basement and start to unpack I will find several belts waiting to be used.

Not much else to report... although I had a weird dream this morning I can't seem to get out of my head. I had twins. Although I wasn't pregnant, I don't remember labour and they were about 2 in my dream. They were identical twin girls. I am too superstitious to tell you their names, because I would like to use them one day, but they were VERY cute. It was so real... the scariest part was I felt detached. I didn't feel like a Mum. I didn't have instincts. On the up side I didn't gain any weight.

It was a very scattered dream and I had trouble going back to sleep after having it.



PS - I am NOT prego... just in case you were wondering or had suspicions about my dream.

Friday, May 6, 2011

26 days and I forgot my pants.

Yea, what a way to end the week.

I weighed in this morning and found out I only have 2 pounds to lose until my goal... 2 POUNDS! This is insane, I can't believe I made it this far.

So, in a effort to speed up the process I planned to head to the gym this afternoon... do a little running, a little rowing... burn those few extra calories that may push me closer to my goal.

I travel down the three flights of stairs, wander a long the bridge and push my way through the smelly gym doors. I sign in, grab a locker and disrobe. In the meantime I am digging through my gym bag and finally realize... I have no pants.

What a disappointment. No gym for me. I can't even run tonight because it is RAINING... AGAIN!

So here I sit in front of my computer trying to kill the clock until i run out of here on a rainy Friday afternoon.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Floating alone

I am without supervision! I am not accountable... ah! Kidding! I seem to be doing well. I feel good and I love the results. I thought it would be more of a struggle, but its only day 2.

So many countdowns are going on...

...days until I move in.

And only 3 pounds until I hit my goal... 3 POUNDS!! It's a good day and its even a Thursday, which means my very favorite step class!


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Post FINAL Naturopath

It was an interesting meeting and because we are all friends here, I intend on sharing the highlight of yesterday, but that comes later.


Yes that is GSP holding my countdown.
And then the meeting... I first met with Nancy. I still don't know her title, as I forgot to ask. She is the one that tested my system against 200+ foods, and chemicals. I wondered how it was going to work and asked a lot of questions (and you say I never do anything for you).

First she explained our bodies carry an electrical current that travels vertically from our feet to our heads. This current can be disrupted by any number of things, but today we were testing foods. Eating a food your body struggles with pulls more energy to a certain area and affects the flow, the digestive system and any other organ in its way. She explained this is why you react differently to different foods.

To test that theory she asks you to hold a large metal cylinder with one hand, while sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the ground. She than prods your other hand with a metal poker that carries the electronic break down of the foods you're testing. At no point did they rub milk all over me and wait for a reaction, its all internal and it doesn't hurt... except the constant pressure on your middle finger, which gets annoying. The results are sent to a computer and shown on a little graph. If the little line spikes above 65 you're intolerant of what is being tested. If it is below you're fine. The higher it is the worse it is for you to consume.

I hope this all makes sense.

Any who... after an hour Nancy had tested 234 things. She had a booklet of results and I had to discuss them with Nicole (my Naturopath). The only real concern she stumbled across was lettuce. I have a severe intolerance to lettuce, which is VERY rare... unless you are Celiac, which I am not (yay). She had to delve into my upbringing, because the only other reason you may have such a huge problem with Lettuce is the pesticide in the lettuce. So maybe i grew up on a farm or worked at on a farm with the constant contact with pesticide, but no. It's still a mystery and they recommended I avoid lettuce, unless its organic.

I never noticed any problem with Lettuce... although any digestive upset after eating lettuce was always attributed to the thing accompanying the lettuce. Sneaky Lettuce.

I left my appointments knowing what I should and shouldn't eat. Nothing will kill me, but its better for my health to avoid.

The other interesting thing... I am NOT lactose intolerant, but have a severe issue with Casine and Whey, the other proteins in milk products.

I am not intolerant to Gluten, but I can't have yeast or wheat... so I can have yeast free rye without concern, but that is a pain to find. I probably won't follow that rule to a tee, but its good to be aware.

The List of 'shouldn't's

Sodium Nitrate (the preservative in deli meats, bacon and sausage)
Dye, Red
Carageenan (the thickener in cheap ice cream, yogurt and soy milk)
Sodium Nitrite
Dye, Blue

White Vinegar
Yeast - Bakers
Soya Sauce

Red Wine
White Wine
Root beer

Peanut Oil
Corn Oil
Superheated Vegetable Oil (Anything deep fried)

Cream Cheese
American Cheese
Swiss Cheese
Mozzarella Cheese
Cottage Cheese
Cheddar Cheese *tear*

Red Snapper


Whole Wheat
White Flour
Wheat Bran

Sugar Cane
Brown Sugar
Beet Sugar


Sweet Pickles

It seems like a lot, but in the grand scheme of things its not. I just have to be aware of what I am putting into my body, which I should be anyways.

The biggest concern I have (according to Nicole) is the natural yeast in my system. Yeast is a beast and takes on its own life when left alone. I have always had an issues with bladder infections and yeast infections, but never knew why. Turns out my yeast is off the charts. In perspective the average woman is about a 40 on the scale of yeast (I don't know what the number means, so I made that last part up, but it will make sense in a minute, bare with me) My yeast scale is around 82. So its high.

Nicole went on to explain what that means. It means I am always suffering from the aforementioned infections. It also means I crave sweets. Yeast becomes its own being inside your body and it craves sweet things. It needs sugar to grow. Thus my sweet cravings have perpetuated the problem. This much yeast in my body also affects my digestive system, my liver and a few other organs.

Nicole said my biggest concern has to be to get my Yeast number down. In order to do that I have to stop feeding it and give up sugar... in all forms, including fruit. I am also taking an anti-fungal. It is helping to attack the yeast, but it is making me so sick. The headache is out of control and its VERY uncomfortable, but its all for a purpose and i think I am beginning to understand.

I don't do well with restrictions, but i do, do well with the 'why'. Explain WHY I need to do something and I am more likely to do it. If, of course, it makes sense. This makes sense to me.

And the scale continues to drop so I can't complain. Show me results and I will stick to it.

As of today I am 4 pounds away from my 20-10 New Years Resolution. I never thought I would make it this far. As soon as I meet that goal it is on to this years goal. Another 20 pounds and being the lowest I ever have been as an adult.

Whewf! This is a LONG ass post... the funny story will have to wait till later.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Its Tuesday.

Yup! The countdown has left Facebook, or grown from Facebook on to this blog.

Only a few days left of Mother-in-Law goodness, mere weeks until total independence, and 41762 minutes until NAKED Tuesdays!

And what am I doing to distract myself? Besides making countdowns in every form possible...

I am triumphing over smaller countdowns, like today a countdown ended. The Post-Detox Diet countdown is over today. Technically I can eat WHATEVER I want. I am not going to, because I have no desire to spoil my 6 weeks of hard work, but I could and that is all that matters.

The Post-Detox has gone well... I had a rough week last week and it shows. I battled mother nature, a disgruntled parent, a vigilante bunny made of chocolate and the birthday of a much deserving foodie. I cheated, but I felt the consequence and probably won't do it again. I say 'probably' because we all know I LOVE food and will give in to temptation again, but my cravings have lulled and I feel better about myself. My body is functioning at high capacity and my mind is clear.

I would recommend a guided detox to everyone (and I have).

I am curious about tonight's appointment, in fact I have two. My first is with a 'Food' doctor. She has a 'real' title, but I don't know it. She is going to test my system with over 250 different foods and give me a full break down of my bodies intolerance and possible allergies. I don't know what to expect, but chocolate may be on the chopping block (I teared up, just typing that *sniff*).

I also can't decide if it is all a scam. For 28 years I have been eating food. How can I now have an issue with them? My best guess (because I often argue with myself) is I have always had issues with foods... it would explain all my ailments, but I hate it.

Oh well... I have rambled enough.

29 days... that's it!!