Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Spinning... on the NEW bike!

Spinning: 45 minutes

I spun today... it was a great ride. I love Kerrie's class. I managed to score a NEW bike this class and was completely disappointed. It was too 'grippy' and clicked as I rode. The seat was awkward and uncomfortable. I am sure it was simply adjusting to something new, but I didn't like it. I was also scooted up to the front of class... which I don't like. I like mid row... I can see everything and am NOT sticking my arse in everyone's face!

I am excited to say I am still on track, despite the appearance of a monthly visitor. Wish me LUCK!

I have to zip away... I am looking forward to coffee with an old friend tonight. It's time for a little re-connecting.


Tuesday... where does time go?!

I can't believe how long its been.

This is my life lately...

I am exhausted. Celebrating is tiring work. That paired with regular gym session and being conscious of my diet... I am sleeping most of the time.

I am sorry my slight effort...

Things have been going well. I am in a routine I can work with and have been making it to the gym at least 4 times a week. I have also dropped to PRE cruise weight and I am pretty excited about it. I don't think my GOAL is in reach, but I am going to get pretty damn close!!

Things are about to let up at work and then I will be back in FULL force.

Pounds to loose: 14(-6) - Body Fat: -.5% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 0

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Spinning: 45minutes

Yup! Back on the bike and I hate it! My bum hurts and I can't keep up! Today was NO better... I haven't been in Leslie-Ann's class in months. I opted for muscle work and needed a change, but today I needed cardio and I got it.

My gym is also doing upgrades... we got 5 new bikes! I didn't make it on one, but I drooled over them as I rode. I am just glad I made it to the gym... its CHAOTIC in here right now and I was lucky to sneak away.

Ok... this post is ALL over the place.

It should read "I went to the gym - I hated it and loved it. Thank you."

I will leave it with that.


Pounds to loose: 12(-8) - Body Fat: -.5% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 0

Monday, November 22, 2010

MONDAY - 6 weeks to go!

Running: 35minutes

What a whirl wind week. I am glad to be back on schedule and happy to report I stayed on track with my weight loss and still have a chance (although slim, no pun intended, one) of making my new years resolution. I feel more determined now, because I have a dress to squeeze into… not literally. I didn't run out and buy a dress 4 days after getting engaged, but the shear idea of standing in front of my friends and family is motivation enough to work harder, longer and more wisely.

I also celebrated a VERY special birthday with one of my favorite girlfriends… we welcomed her to 27 and met her new beau over dinner. I had an amazing spinach salad, with pomegranate vinaigrette, champagne strawberries and goat cheese. It was very yummy and left enough room for celebratory dessert… Mmm… sticky toffee pudding! I know it’s a NO NO, but I never have it and it is BY FAR my fav dessert. I ordered the bite sized version and enjoyed EVERY bite!

I am back at the gym today and most of the week. I have a luncheon tomorrow and family stuff on Friday, but I get there as often as I can. Actually this Friday (with Richard) I am making the 3 hour drive to my Mums. She already knows, but I haven't shared anything with my brother or his kids yet. They are going to go CRAZY! Solstice is only 9, but LOVES weddings! I opted not to tell them on the phone and make them wait to be able to see their faces. My little nephew is 3 and going to be my ring bearer. We're going to spend the night and enjoy sometime with MY family. Lately I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with his family. They are loving and wonderful, thoughtful and considerate, but there are SO MANY of them. I also want to make sure my single mother feels as apart of everything as everyone else. She was incredibly difficult on her growing up… don't look surprised. I want her to enjoy this day and this process with me and my groom to be.

Ok… going off on a wedding rant there. Sorry. I have 292 days to drop 30 pounds. Saying it like that seems VERY obtainable.

Wish me luck.

To bring it back to fitness… Running went well today. I could only spare 45minutes (including changing and travel time), but I used it wisely and ran intervals for 35 minutes. It felt good. I love Monday runs. I have had 2 days off and my body is ready to go. I feel refreshed and on track.

Oh yea, I don't have measurements from Friday. Richard caught me doing them and tried to help… it didn't go well, at least not for my measuring. It was fun otherwise… lol

PS - Below is a picture… just in case you're curious. Please excuse my messy look, I was frazzled.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Muscle Up: 35minutes
Step Up: 45minutes

Ok... so I have been notably absent. I'm sorry.

Above is the work-outs. I have still been going to the gym despite my clear exhaustion!

Now I think I have good reason, this week Richard and I have made every attempt to see everyone important to us because...


Yup! It happened on Tuesday night... its been a blur of celebrating. We finally told the best man last night, so its safe to share it here. It was important to us that EVERYONE found out directly from us.

Yay! I am more excited than I am exhausted... ha! And on the fitness front... I have kept up my gym visits and calorie count.

Now... shower me with congrats... hehe


Pounds to loose: 14(-6) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 0

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Spinning... the return!

Spinning: 45minutes
Calories: 740

Wow! I didn't think it had been that long since I spun, but I couldn't keep up. I was panting and praying for class to end. My legs were burning and things were fuzzy. I couldn't get the water into my system fast enough.

I am thrilled at the work-out, but disappointed what after almost a year of going to spinning I STILL can't keep up. ARGH!

Oh well... its just another challenge. Like my small one for the end of November... to be under 10 again. That way I have a chance of hitting my one year goal. ARGH!

I also learned two things about myself... I love TUNA and I love PEANUT BUTTER. Both of which I can't seem to get enough of.

Another day is almost done. I am doing great with not snacking and I am proud of my progress.

I have muscles tomorrow and push-ups tonight.

I also learned that my entire life is better when the scale is dropping... I am SO miserable when I weigh more. It's odd how connected to my everyday life is. Let's keep dropping and get somewhere!


PS - I am 8 days into the month. I need to go to the gym 8 more times to be ELITE... can I do it?! Hope so!
Pounds to loose: 14(-6) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 0

Monday, November 15, 2010

7 weeks LEFT!

Elliptical: 10minutes
Running: 35minutes

Day One of Week Three for push-ups. I failed at my exhaustion test and they through me back into week One. Fine, by me... I went from doing 60 push-ups (5 reps) to doing 45 push-ups (5 reps. As long as I stick with it I don't care how long it takes me.

I had a good weekend. I was really proud of myself. I logged everything and even without exercise I didn't go over my daily calorie allowance. I even planned out my meals. I was really on top of things.

I was rewarded with VERY little gain over the weekend. I hope I am still on track for my goal. I have 16 pounds to loose by New Years... 7 weeks away! Ah!

I started today on the elliptical, not by choice. I started late and all the treadmills were taken. I spent 10 minutes going backwards (different muscle groups) before a treadmill freed up. Then I ran... go me! I ran my first mile in under 12 minutes, my second mile too! It felt good. I feel good.

Let's hope things stay this positive for the week.

I have 5 available lunch hours for the gym. Speaking of the gym... there is another reward level. It's the 'Elite'. I want to be the 'Elite'. In order to do so I have to go to the gym 16 times or more a month. Sounds easy... but in a month with 4 weeks, like November. I have to go 4 times a week. The first two weeks I missed two days a week because of meetings. That means for the last two weeks (this week and next) I have to go 5 times to accomplish this. Ah!

I am good this week... let's hope it stays that way.

Sorry no cartoon... its holiday season and its busy!

Pounds to loose: 16(-4) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 45

Friday, November 12, 2010

Boot Camp!

This is how it looked. Complete sweaty chaos! It was a great lead into the weekend!

Have a good one!


Pounds to loose: 15(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: -3.5 - Push Ups: 0

Banana Bread

I want to share a recipe... I learned it a few years ago from Mary Jane. It's a Banana Bread recipe with no eggs, which is convenient because I never seem to have eggs at home. It bakes up yummy and I made it last night... so it's fresh in my mind (and in my belly).

2 Large Ripe Bananas (or 3 medium)
1 Cup of Sugar
1 1/2 Cups of Flour
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Baking Soda
3 tbls of melted Butter

Mush up the Banana's and add the dry ingredients. Pour into a greased loaf pan and bake at 325 for an hour.

That's it.

I typically top with a cinnamon/sugar combination, but you don't have to.

I have also turned this into a yummy cookie recipe by increasing the flour. They bake up perfect and make a great snack.

The downside... the calories - 222 for 1/8 a loaf. I am sure it can be revised to be more diet friendly, but I have to figure out how.

Until then... indulge and enjoy.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

Last night and Today

Run: 45minutes
Step Class: 60 minutes

I feel like i haven't been giving you my best work. I haven't been myself lately and as they adjust my medication I feel less and less like myself.

I tried to adjust my formatting to allow for daily accountability, but it became exhausting and confusing, even to me. I 'm going to resort back to the original idea. I am going to omit 'calories' because that doesn't seem to mean anything.

So, last night my home life exploded. I needed to get away, but had few options. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to pretend to be ok. I was not ok. On top of that I had skipped the gym for two days and was feeling it. And for the first time Richard made a comment about my fitness. An innocent comment, but one that lead me to believe he thinks I am failing. He is my biggest support and I am sure other things swayed my opinion of his intent, but I felt like I had no choice but to run. I got out of the house and didn't have to talk to anyone.

The weather is changing and most days its below zero at night, what the big shift is... time change. It's literally a switch.

By the time I was home it was FULL night. I also learned that the streets are NOT lit up very well in my little town and most bushes made me nervous. Runners get killed all the time and I have an over active imagination. Although I doubt anyone would want to get close to be once i have worked up a good sweat. I ran well. I felt like I was running incredibly fast. I wasn't, but it felt like it. I finished 5kms and called it a night. I went home and sat on the stoop in the bitter cold until I cooled down... physically and emotionally.

I had an early night and a dreamless sleep.

Today I woke up still angry from the unresolved issues of the night before. I didn't want to get out of bed, but with a little help from Richard (he made my lunch, started my car and moved the van for me) I made it to work. All I could think about was the 60 minutes of step class I had coming up.

Not to mention my one pound gain... I know its water, but I hate it still.

Class went well... I couldn't keep up. It's frustrating. I had it last week and survived the entire class at pace. Not this time. I am still sweating and relieved I got it over with.

I have to do push ups tonight... hopefully.

Ok... I have piles of work to do, but I wanted to submit a half decent blog. Sorry for the scattered ramblings of a confused girl.

Life is a little messy right, but I am trying not to let that affect me.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 3...

I went out for lunch today. I was good. I needed that time away with the ladies. I ordered French Onion Soup and Sweet potato fries. A great lunch and the calories weren't that bad.

I also stole a packet of rockets candies from my producer. I am weak and they can't be that many calories. Pathetic. Don't worry I feel as hopeless as you do.

I have to do this, yet I constantly find myself sliding.

I am going to go for a run tonight... weather permitting. I need to do something to wake up my old muscles and I have push-ups with Richard.

Keep your chin up kid!


Today's MENU

Breakfast - Slimfast Shake
Snack - Celery and Peanut Butter, Large Green Tea - black.
Lunch - French Onion Soup, Sweet potato fries
Snack - 6 crackers, 1 large apple, grapes, rockets
Dinner - Slimfast Shake

Total Calories: 1389


Running: 30minutes

Calories: 436

Pounds to loose: 15(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: 0 - Push Ups: 0

Wow... Day TWO and I already fell off the wagon.

Hey All!
So I fell off the wagon. I promised to write everyday and log my food. I promised to be accountable and I failed. Oops.

Yesterday was pretty hectic AND I didn't make it to the gym. The push-ups are from Monday night.

I will do better.

I also won't be going to the gym today, but I am staying under my calories and doing well.

Today's MENU

Breakfast - Slimfast Shake
Snack - Celery and Peanut Butter, Large Green Tea - black.
Lunch - 7 grain bun with Chicken, cheese and mustard with grapes.
Snack - 6 crackers, 1 large apple, reese Peanut Butter Cup.
Dinner - Slimfast Shake
Total Calories: 1320

Exercise - 0
Pounds to loose: 16(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: 0 - Push Ups: 60

Monday, November 8, 2010

I feel a little better.

I feel a little better. I always feel better after a good run. I opted to run for 45minutes (15 run, 30 run/sprint/walk). I haven't run for that long in a while. I am the type of person that needs schedules. You tell me what to do and I will kill myself to do it. You leave it to me... and I slack off. Hence the 10 pound gain.

I feel like I am on the right track and I am not as hungry as i expected to be. We'll see about tonight. I have my apple for a late snack and my shake. That's it for this evening... wish me luck.


Today's MENU

Breakfast - Slimfast Shake
Snack - Celery and Peanut Butter, Large Green Tea - black.
Lunch - 7 grain bun with Chicken, cheese and mustard with grapes.
Snack - 6 crackers, 1 large apple
Dinner - Slimfast Shake

Total Calories: 1230

Run: 45 minutes
Restart Week 2 Push-ups.

Total Calories: 671

Pounds to loose: 20(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: 0 - Push Ups: 0

Restart - AGAIN!

I hate myself today.

I hate that I let myself go.

I hate even more that my body is SO dysfunctional that ONE week of not counting every calorie has left me with another 10-pounds to loose.

I hate it.

I hate that the doctors can't find anything wrong, yet I know I am falling apart.

I hate that I have to starve myself and hit the gym 15 times in a week just to MAINTAIN my weight.

I hate that I will never be 'skinny'.

I hate that I want to be 'too skinny'. I want people to talk behind my back about how I have lost TOO much weight. I know it is unhealthy, but I can't stop.

I reach for that chocolate bar and instantly feel disgusted when I eat it, yet I eat it. I over indulge and hate myself for it, but can't stop.

Today I hate a lot of things... and it hurts the most to hate myself.

I am back on the Slim Fast. I need to kick start my body. I need to get moving. I have 20 pounds to loose by the end of the year and for anyone keeping track that is 8 WEEKS! I need to loose MORE than 2 pounds per week consistently for the next 8 weeks. I can't imagine the disappointment I will feel when I have to say Happy New Years as a continued fatty.

I hate that I am starting another year as a fatty. I hate that I hate my body SO much.

Wish me luck. I need to do this for my sanity. It's not even about being healthy anymore.

I am going to report to YOU everyday my diet and exercise. I promise to be completely honest.


Today's MENU
Breakfast - Slimfast Shake
Snack - Celery and Peanut Butter, Large Green Tea - black.
Lunch - 7 grain bun with Chicken, cheese and mustard with grapes.
Snack - 6 crackers, 1 large apple
Dinner - Slimfast Shake

Total Calories: 1230

Run: 45 minutes
Restart Week 2 Push-ups.

Pounds to loose: 20(-0) - Body Fat: -0% - Inches Lost: 0 - Push Ups: 0

Thursday, November 4, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Mt. 'Step' has been conquered!!

Please hold your applause!

Step Class: 60 MINUTES!
Calories: 894

I did it! I did Angela's class and I finished it. All the way to the self applause. ha! What a good time. The class was packed and I spent most of it frantically trying to keep up.

I feel so satisfied with myself. In fact, I am going to go home and do my push-ups. Yes, last nights push-ups.I didn't feel up to doing them after lounging in the hot tub for over an hour. Oh yea... it was THAT good.

Ok. I am super busy at work (maybe because I took a long lunch to do the extended step class) and I have to get back to it.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Step Up Class: 35minutes (should have been 45, but they were late - hmpf!)
Calories: 500 ish

I made it to class, despite of my lack of sleep. I didn't realize until during the class that a class that requires co-ordinations should not be done and less then 3 hours of sleep. I tripped and twisted my knee... its a stabbing pain. It feels like my knee isn't bending right. I also rolled my ankle. I didn't give up on the class, but I spent the last portion doing simple step-ups.

I am SO unco-ordinated. I just feel off. I thought it was my thyroid meds. I thought I was on the wrong dosage. I thought I would get good news and revise my dosage. I thought things would feel normal again and I would be ok. Nope. Apparently my levels are normal and there is no need to revised my dosage. I am stuck in this stupid body that doesn't work.

As of this morning I have gained 10 pounds this period. Really? If that isn't under motivating I don't know what is. I hate this body.

I hate how defeated and frustrated I feel.

I will finish the week in FULL speed and keep it up for next week, but I want results. There will not be negotiations. I want results and I WILL get them.

I hate still being fat... after all this time I thought I would FOR SURE be there. I would be at my goal and working on maintaining by this point. I thought I had finally begun to understand how my body works, yet the further along I get the more confused I become. I eat I gain. I exercise I gain. I don't eat I gain. I don't exercise I gain. I can't win.

Oh well... maybe today is just not my day.

Love ?

PS - I did my push-ups last night. Richard joined me... I love his support, but hate his skill. He powered through all 47 push-ups with breaking a sweat. I struggled with EACH ONE!

Pounds to loose:??(-??) - Body Fat: -1% - Inches Lost: 7 - Push Ups: 47

My Morning in Pictures.

First there was NO Sleep...
Then... I hopped on the scale.
The garbage truck BLOCKED my driveway and made me late.

Numerous emails YELLING at me for my co-workers mistakes.

Trying to enjoy my breakfast I spilled my milk... and cried about it.

I got trapped in a phone conversation with a monkey.

All of this happen BEFORE 9am... it's a bad day. I am going to step class at noon to try and elevate my life, but I have my doubts about today.

Should have stayed in bed.

Love ?

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Heart Wasn't In It

Running: 35minutes
Abs: 10minutes
Calories: Barely 500

I am slacking... as per the earlier blog. I am in a total SLACK mood. I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill... if you can even call what I was doing, running. I was on the treadmill and my feet were moving, but my heart wasn't in it.

I hate feeling like this... feeling hopeless. No word from the doctor. Blah.

Going home soon...


Stupid Candy!

I am falling apart and I feel myself sliding.

First... I haven't weighed in. It's too much. Halloween and my monthly BLOAT fest. It's not worth the heart ache.

Second... I can't stop eating. I love food. Good food, bad food, any food. If you put it near me I will explode before I stop eating. I know this, yet it still happens.

Third... I had a good week at the gym last and I still feel FAT and LAZY. Hopefully I get my test results back today and I can get back on track.

I have done this before... got comfortable in my NEW skin and stopped pushing. I love my body... I don't love how it looks, but I often forget and think 'Hey, I have lost 35 pounds I should be proud of myself'... what I need to think is 'I still have 15 pounds to go'. I hit this plateau when the weight loss slows and I feel ok with myself. I start to slide... I give in to cravings and stop exercising.

I need to push past this and get back on track. I need to loose weight. I need to be fit. I can't be this heavy anymore. I know this, but with my medical history I feel tied to this weight. It's not my fault... blah! I know it is... hmpf.

I am going for a run today. It won't undo all I've done, but hopefully it clears my head.