Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Step Up Class: 35minutes (should have been 45, but they were late - hmpf!)
Calories: 500 ish

I made it to class, despite of my lack of sleep. I didn't realize until during the class that a class that requires co-ordinations should not be done and less then 3 hours of sleep. I tripped and twisted my knee... its a stabbing pain. It feels like my knee isn't bending right. I also rolled my ankle. I didn't give up on the class, but I spent the last portion doing simple step-ups.

I am SO unco-ordinated. I just feel off. I thought it was my thyroid meds. I thought I was on the wrong dosage. I thought I would get good news and revise my dosage. I thought things would feel normal again and I would be ok. Nope. Apparently my levels are normal and there is no need to revised my dosage. I am stuck in this stupid body that doesn't work.

As of this morning I have gained 10 pounds this period. Really? If that isn't under motivating I don't know what is. I hate this body.

I hate how defeated and frustrated I feel.

I will finish the week in FULL speed and keep it up for next week, but I want results. There will not be negotiations. I want results and I WILL get them.

I hate still being fat... after all this time I thought I would FOR SURE be there. I would be at my goal and working on maintaining by this point. I thought I had finally begun to understand how my body works, yet the further along I get the more confused I become. I eat I gain. I exercise I gain. I don't eat I gain. I don't exercise I gain. I can't win.

Oh well... maybe today is just not my day.

Love ?

PS - I did my push-ups last night. Richard joined me... I love his support, but hate his skill. He powered through all 47 push-ups with breaking a sweat. I struggled with EACH ONE!

Pounds to loose:??(-??) - Body Fat: -1% - Inches Lost: 7 - Push Ups: 47

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