Monday, April 27, 2015

Gastric Bypass surgery

It's going to be a long day. 

It's 6:15am and I am laying in a dark room listening to my mother try and breathe. 

It's heart breaking at the struggle her body is having with the basic necessity of breathing. Her breath is short and garglely and it has been all night. All night her lungs have fought to expand under the weight and I am so glad today has finally arrived.

Today my Mother is having gastric bypass surgery. A final effort to regain control of her life, to gain freedom and independence from a body that struggles to survive. 

I don't know how we got to this point, but I have lived in fear of repeating my mothers mistakes my entire life. She lost herself in struggling to survive with 2 kids and no support. She forgot to take care of herself along the way.

The slip lead her to a life of obesity. She can hardly walk or live freely. She can't travel or play with her grandson. Her day revolves around thoughts of food... just like mine does.

This is what pushes me to get up at 5am every morning and go to the gym. This is what drives me to find time to take care of myself in a day full of other peoples needs.

She is why I will lose the weight and stay in control of my body and my life, because the simple pleasures of mobility, easy breath and freedom are too important not to fight for.

Wish us luck today. It's a big day and this is a huge step towards independence and the life she deserves. I'm proud of her for recognizing her weaknesses and getting help. It was a huge decision that took years to make and over 15 months to plan.

It is a new beginning and I can't wait to have my Mum back.



Monday, April 20, 2015

First Weigh In

I had my first weigh in with Michelle and in 8 days I have lost 13lbs. Stop. Reread that. I LOST 13 POUNDS. 

That is insane. Even Michelle was blown away.

I lost 7.5lbs of fat (yay) and 5.5lbs of water.

I'll take it. 

Let's go muscle!! 


Slept in... But walked.

Ok. Fridays are not my favorite day for fitness. This girl loves to sleep in and have a leisurely breakfast with my boys.

I am working towards a weight loss goal and thought the more I exercise I cram in the better. So on Friday I joined Jim on his afternoon walk. 


He's walks faster than I run. We walked 5k in 40minutes. I run 5k in 36minutes. I worked up a sweat and fell behind a few times.

What I found interesting, aside from the office gossip, the muscles I was using. I can keep up in a 60-minute step class. I can run alongside Vanessa, but waking. Gah. It's tough.

It was all shin work. 

My shins screamed, I even broke into a run a few times just to give my shin muscles a break.

Now I know I need to bring a change of clothes on 'walk' days.


Thursday, April 16, 2015

10 rules to not being an ASS at the gym.

 Look, there are a few things we need to discuss.

ONE - Don’t talk to me when I am naked or when you’re naked. Especially if I don’t know you. I don’t know where to put my eyes, I don’t want to be the weird girl who is uncomfortable around naked women, but I don’t want to stare at your breasts, but have noticed the mole to the left of your right nipple, have you had that looked at? Not that I was looking. And then I worry that I was staring. Awkwardly. I didn’t even hear what you said, because my brain is saying ‘Look away. Look away.’ But I can’t. You’re naked, likely I AM NAKED. This is weird.

TWO - Don’t be naked on everything. I understand we are in the change room, where we are designated to CHANGE. This involves removing clothing, showering, toweling off and reapplying clothing. But allowing your naked sweat bum to touch everything, makes me uncomfortable. I watch you plop down, bare bummed onto the community bench, first… ew, you do not know whom others naked bum has also plopped right there on that exact spot. Second, does anyone WASH the surfaces in the change room? I know the cleaning service wipes counters and likely mops, but the benches?! Who is thinking about the benches??? Third, I use THAT bench to place my things while I figure out my locker. Now I am putting my towel, which I have to wipe my FACE with on your sweaty bum bench OR I am awkwardly trying NOT to put anything on the bench and end up dropping everything on the floor, which had probably been cleaned more recently than your sweaty bum bench. Hmpf.

THREE - Sweat. You are there to sweat. You are there to exert as much effort as possible. It is a work out. It is intended to be WORK. It is designed to make you uncomfortable to permit change in your body. If you are not going to sweat (or try to sweat). Go Home. You are in my way.

FOUR - Don’t watch me. So yesterday I am at the mirror in lifting weights. I am working through my little routine and I can feel it; that uncomfortable stare. Someone is watching me. I adjust my form and push harder, because no one wants to look like a wimp that quit. I can still feel it, finally I look around and there she is, to my back left. Just staring at me, she doesn’t even look away. It’s so… uncomfortable. Do what you do, leave me to do what I do.

FIVE - Don’t be late to class. Ok, everybody has an off day. Everybody is late to class at times, even yours truly. It’s a 5:45am and I barely have my shit together I get it. But EVERYDAY you run into class after it has started. You make room in a spot that was not meant for you and then you bounce around in everyone’s way. You are ruining it for everyone. Be on time, in fact be early.

SIX - Watch my personal space. Group exercise is exercising in a group. I understand we’re all friends and we’re all there to get a killer workout, but I can’t focus on my sweat when you are there – right there. You were late and now you are there. You’re right up against me when we move forward or your backing into me, because you choice the front spot, but started to second guess your decision. Tough. This 3x3 bubble is mine. I came early to class. I staked my claim on this little piece of land. Don’t invade and post your flag. This is not for you.

SEVEN - Don’t take a nap in the lounger. Get some rest at home, don’t take a 2 hour nap in the lounger. It’s weird and makes me uncomfortable. And don’t say you just dozed off after a killer workout, you have a blanket. You are tucked in. This was planned.

EIGHT - Please remember the anti-stink stick. I am all for working up a healthy sweat (see #3), but let’s be kind to our neighbours and where some deodorant. There is nothing worse than zipping along on the treadmill, pacing to your favorite song when something wafts into your nose. It’s a sweet, sticky smell of someone’s perspiration. Yuck. Kudos to you for working up a sweat, but now I am stuck on this stationary machine in the billowing cloud of your stench. Please. PLEASE. Keep it pretty.

NINE - Don’t hit on her. No I am NOT jealous that you are not hitting on me. I am not there to impress and I know I look like a hot mess, but my man is happy so it’s not your concern. This is a tip to help out the beautiful girl on the elliptical with her headphones on, who is just trying to work it out. You can tell she is in the zone, killing it – actually sweating. Then you and your meat head friends walk past and look her up and down, snicker to each other and hop in the machine beside her. You warm up and pretend to stretch, then you tap her on the shoulder, interrupt her stride and make some stupid remark (I have headphones and can’t always hear it, but I am guessing it is something about ‘Your glutes are looking fine, babygirl’). She is polite, not interested. She puts her earbud back in and keeps going… this should be when you walk away, but no, you keep at it; until she stops, wipes down her machine and takes cover in the ladies change room. See what you did there? You ruined it for her.

TEN - The shower. This is not your personal shower, you are not at home. Just be civil; be quick, be courtesy and take your nasty glob of conditioned hair with you when you leave. You can put it beside you on the sweaty bum bench.

It just comes down to common courtesy, don't enhance your gym experience by ruining someone else's. We're all there for the same reason, can't we just sweat in peace. Please.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nutritionist and things...

They say its 80% diet and only 20% exercise. I hate ‘they’. I wish it was all exercise. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I hit the gym and I hit it hard, but it’s not up to me. And also if it were up to me, no Mondays, ice cream is added to the basic food groups and vegetables make you fat.

Last week I met with a Nutritionist.

I didn’t love it.

I hate being told I am wrong, even when I know I am wrong. I hate being doubted, even when I haven’t give you a reason to believe in me.

I am motivated by doubt, but I don’t like it.

Anyways. I am now working with a very patient Nutritionist. She reviewed my food journal, sent shocks through my body and weighed me. The conclusion. I am a hot mess, with 102lbs of body fat. Gah. What have I been doing at the gym the past 3 months??? Not building muscle. #obvi

She kept my weight a secret (mostly, I saw the number, but ignored it) and went over the test results. I am 40% fat. That’s a lot, like I am morbidly obese. I don’t feel morbidly obese. What do BMIs know anyways??? I have big freaking bones.

Not that it matters, because I am doing something about it, so its ok. It’s ok to start at the bottom, once you’ve found your bottom (regardless of what size your bottom is).

So I’m fat and I don’t want to be. What are we doing about it?

My fitness routine isn’t changing except I am adding a 45 minute walk to lunch hour to get on with the results. I will still do 3 days of cardio and 4 days of weights, plus life. Like running with the boy, walks to the park and sex (is anyone still reading my rambles?).

My diet is getting a complete overhaul. I didn’t think I was THAT terrible. I knew the rules and followed some of them, but it was the other things going on that screwed me. The sugary treats, the Tim Horton’s run and the late night snacking (Eff you DQ).

I eat too many grains. I eat too much sugar (natural and refined). I don’t eat enough protein. And there is some dirty toxin attacking and dehydrating my cells. I am so thirsty.

So I have a page of foods. Its one page and it is all I am allowed to consume. If it is not on the sheet, I can not eat #wordtoyourmother. I am also limited to 2 grains per day and 2 fruits per day (one banana is ALL my fruit for the day. All my fruit in a yellow tube). I MUST consume 3 proteins a day (I get a gold star if I consume more than 3) and one of those MUST be for breakfast.

I can eat all the vegetables I want #yeehaw.
I can’t have any processed sugar.
I made granola. Mmmm…
I have to eat PLAIN greek yogurt and am only allowed milk alternatives.
I have hemp hearts, chia seeds and simply bars.

And that’s it. My first weigh in is April 20th. Let’s see what we can do, prove the haters wrong and conquer that effing scale.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Day One

I have A LOT of day one posts, but this one isn't about fitness. This is Day One of clean eating. Day One of no sugar. Day One of real food.

16 weeks to 30lbs lost.

Here we go!! 

Your Day One picture is always supposed to be bad (I have a real one with my nutritionist, oh yea I am working with a nutritionist. More to follow.)

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Birthday Surprises

I had a birthday. I don't even remember how old I am, so don't ask.

It was last Wednesday and the day of, was tame. A delicious lunch with my hubby, a quiet night at home with my boy, lots of giggles and cuddles. It was perfect.

And then Friday came along and tore out my muscles, destroyed my feet and filled me with liquor. It was AMAZING! My dear friend Vanessa (and workout buddy) planned a surprise night of birthday fun. I knew the date and time, but that was all I could get out of her.

April 10th, 5:15pm.

She met me at my house and we caught up on life, while we waited for my men to get home so I could say goodnight. Then Siri (or the android equivalent) lead us to downtown Burlington for dinner and dessert, which involved a mad dash across the street to Kelly's Bake Shoppe for some vegan cupcakes and cookies (which if you don't know Kelly, you should. Everything is vegan, gluten free and delicious. All the fun, NONE of the guilt).

Then we went for a stroll to find our next destination... a few blocks up Brant street the BRASS BOMBSHELL was waiting for us! We were having a private pole dancing class! We were going POLE DANCING! I was so freaking excited when we saw the little Pink Sign! I have always wanted to try this, but never -- just never.

It's a small studio with 12 golden poles, Connor (our MALE instructor) welcomed us at the door and celebrated our arrival as much as we did. We directed us to the change room, where we slipped into work out gear (but I kept my pink lace bra on to feel sexy, because there is NOTHING sexy about sports bras). Then he gave the run down of all we were going to accomplish in the next 90 minutes. Connor owned his pole with killer moves, smooth swinging hips and hair flip that anyone would be jealous of.

We walked up to the pole, circled the pole, switched directions and learned body rolls. We scooped our booties, touched ourselves and dragged our toes. We did floor work and buttercups, getups and cat-cows (but he called them something MUCH sexier). Then we moved on to spins and lifts. Vanessa killed it with her holds, I fell. A. LOT. Connor eventually got me a crash mat and then it was game on. I still fell a lot, but had so much fun. It is a crazy workout, using muscles I didn't even know could get sore, but they did and they are.

Then when the workout was over and we were catching our breath, Connor hit the stage in the sexiest pair of 6 inch spiked boots and WOW. Now I knew how he could move his body, the control he had over his limbs, but when the amateurs got out of the way! O.M.G. He killed it... he was strutting around the pole, dropping into spins, popping the fuck out of his booty and then there was the aerial work... he was upside down and fully extended, lateral and blowing in the wind. Vanessa and I just watched with our mouths open. It was incredible!

We thanked him for this dance and snapped a picture, before moving on to the next surprise. Once we got back home and devoured our cupcake, Vanessa let the last surprise slip. We were going DANCING!

We got all dolled up and called a cab, these girls were taking over The IVY. We did a few shots, pounded our drinks and got in the cab. We spent the next 3 hours, dancing our asses of in heels until a moment of fresh air carried us outside, where we lost all control of our feet and hobbled to a cab.

We came home and fell into a beautiful sleep, until alarms rang at 6am to send Vanessa running out the door and me into Mum-mode, sore muscles, sore feet, but one hell of a night!

Best workout so far!

Thanks to Vanessa for putting it all together for me! I am a lucky girl to have such amazing people in my life. Now I need to start planning her birthday, what adventure will be go on next!


And an extra picture for good measure! What you
don't see is the FULL bar to the left of the picture,
with BIG glass windows. Xo