Monday, December 11, 2017

My plunge into the world of Chiropractic-esque

So I am a skeptic, that’s not a surprise to anyone that knows me. I am cool with rearranging the furniture, changing the wall colour, but when it comes to moving the structure, I didn’t understand how that could help. I have been up right for 34 years... now someone is telling me I am doing it wrong?

Well, I was doing it wrong.

Did you know your neck is supposed to move, freely... all over the place? Like for real.
And you’re thinking, my neck moves, turns and swivels, but does it? Does it really? I thought mine did.

It does now.

Now.  I have to betray my chiro’s confidence for a second as I tell the true tale of my first adjustment.
I work as a CHA; Chiropractic Health Assistant and an office manager for a renowned clinic older than I am. I am the new girl swinging through the door with no idea what goes on in those little yellow rooms.

Its magic people, magic goes on within these walls.

I hurt my shoulder in the summer and like most I said, ‘it’ll get better on its own.’ I pulled back from training and anything that irritated it. I grumbled every time I tried to lift, move or carry something... including poor, sweet Zachary.

Fast forward a few months and the pain/burning nags, but is just something I have gotten used to.
Then the fates throw me in line for an opportunity in a chiropractic office. The hours are better; the location is amazing and its only 4 days a week. I think its kismet and after a couple interviews, accept the office manager/CHA position.

Still at this point having no idea what goes on in those little rooms.

I obliviously work for 2 weeks; training and helping patients, no idea what is really happening around me.

Then I remember my shoulder pain, I joke with my chiro about squeezing me in between patients and in that moment I am in the yellow room.

“What can you do in 8 minutes to help my shoulder?’

“What can I do in 3 minutes?”He laughed and I lie on the table while he poked around, finding the sore spot. He patiently explains the diagnosis several times, after answering all the questions. So many questions.

The first diagnosis, things are tight. My muscles are flexed and pulling on my bones; my infrastructure, wreaking havoc, hassling nerves and being a general nuance. He works to loosen them while I lay face down and jiggle. It hurts, but call sadistic is also feels good.

Then he brings up the adjustment and watches me flinch, I have to admit I was caught up in the old way of thinking scared of the ‘crack’, but we’re still bonding so I agree, based on the logic provided. The tight muscles on my right side have been pulling on my spine for the past month; this has rotated my spine causing pain. There is so much logic I smile politely and he folds me up and tells me to take a deep breath and when I let it out --- whoosh.

He pounces in a well practiced movement and I feel all the air leave my body and a small pop in my back, it doesn’t hurt, but catches me off guard and I start to laugh, awkwardly and intensely, even he starts to chuckle.

I ask, “Is this normal?” His smile says it is and we move to the other side. I think I am ready for this one, but the same laugh falls out of me as the air is squeezed out of me.

Then it happens, has asks about my neck, can he adjust.

I pause. It’s my neck. But I am all in, I am a 100% type person so I smile and nod.

He tells me to relax into hands and warns that I will hear a tiny ‘pop’, it’s just the gases releasing.

It is not tiny.

It is not a ‘pop’.

It sounds like I just walked barefoot of a bag of Fritos (out of bag, obviously). I expect pain, but it doesn’t follow, what does follow is a howl, from me. I have spent 34 years believing my neck should not make that noise.

Then he tells me he has to do the other side and cautions the same warning.

I don’t relax. I try.

The movement is the same, but the sound is a tiny ‘pop’.

“There is the tiny pop,” I joke.

“You didn’t relax as much.” He smiles.

“Well, I knew was to expect this time”, but even as I am saying it I swivel and turn my head. It feels different, loose – free. “My neck moves”

“It’s supposed too.” He laughs as he watches me bobble around; taking my new found movement for a test run. Quick left, lazy right... it’s so different. I like it.

And all of this in less time than it took you o read about it.

The best news is the next day I felt bruised (keep reading), but the soreness I have felt for weeks is gone. And within 48 hours the bruising sensation goes too.

So yes, I have been upright for 34 years, but I haven’t been doing it right.

Now I am. Mostly. 

Friday, October 13, 2017


Finally Richard is on board. He is doing something WITH me! He is always supportive of my chaos, but recently he decided to join in the fun. No, I haven't gotten him to the gym -- yet, but I did rope him into a 30-day cleanse.

We're cleansing together, me to continue the weight loss after a lengthy plateau and him to kick some old habits and lower his blood pressure.

Wish us luck! It is day three and he's gone through the headache stage (where I am today) and his mood has improved (even if he hasn't noticed, I have).

27 days to go!

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Badass Dash - Kitchener

I am a Badass. Also, Vanessa and Kim... they are Badasses too!

We ran the Badass Dash in Kitchener this past weekend and it kicked my ass.

7km. 40 Obstacles.

I am covered in bruises, but I loved it and would gladly do it again every weekend.

You arrive to the ski hill with all the other runners, everyone is costumed and ready to go. The energy is infectious. Everyone there is an athlete. Everyone there is a team.

We registered and received our arm sleeves/sock thingy, which was the first oddity.

Then we were corralled to the starting line, literally a coral for cattle. The music was loud and everyone around us was having the same conversation... the 40 degree heat, the excitement to get moving, the massive hill to climb. Which isn't even an exaggeration...

Obstacle #1 - The ski hill. Run up the ski hill, full of naivety I said 'My first goal is to run the entire way up!' Which didn't seem ambitious until half way when my legs quit and I debating crawling.

I did not crawl. I walked. Slowly.

Also, it should be noted that we climbed that hill 4 more times, probably more, but that was as many as I counted. Also, we climbed the hill to immediately climb down the hill.

We had to do a round of 15 push-ups and then we headed back down the hill, around the half way down point there were tubes to crawl through, not the claustrophobia tunnels (they come later), but squishie dog tubes.

Note: There were not as many inflatables as promised -- more on that to follow.

The obstacles we're perfectly based every couple of hundred meters, which meant very little running. There were chin-ups, I did burpees, there were wall climbs, I did burpees. That seemed to be the favorite punishment for the inability to complete an obstacle.

We climbed a cargo net.

Ran across water (mostly successfully)

Monkey bars, chin ups, Potato sac races, hurdles, walk climbs, beam walks, human car wash, rock climbing, spider webs, tire carries, burpees, sand bag slug, wicked walls, pole climbs, over-unders and the Australian back crawl. 

I survived, the last hill climb was questionable and the after math felt like death (full blown panic attack over lunch as I quietly filled up on ice cold water and french fries), but I did it. I can walk away knowing I am Badass!

Thank you to Vanessa and Kim for dragging me along for the ride.