Thursday, April 28, 2011


I'm a white girl, by every stereotypical definition of the word. I want to be culturally educated and have travelled the world to better understand different races and religions, but I am still just a un-coordinated white girl.

Imagine my surprise when my favorite step class was been cancelled in order to host a guest instructor... a Bollywood Dancer. I was already in my sweats and looking for a work-out, so I signed up. I am always happy to try new things and have new experiences, but as previously stated I am un-corodinated.

What a class! I hid in the back, trying to hide my in ability to shake it on beat. Most of the movements are a lot of shaking and hip thrusts, with chest thrusts and shaking. There is way too much bouncing and intricate steps, with even more complicated hand movements. I was jiggling all over the place!

I was laughing and enjoying myself AND working up a sweat. I am a little sore right now... an hour of bollywood dancing in an intense work-out. I won't do it again... I like simple things I can follow and push through. I spent most of the class confused, but for your enjoyment... the rest of the class was middle aged, over weight, white women all as unco-ordinated as me.

Go ahead, picture it.

I broke out in fits of laughter several times.

All in all I feel good... relieved and relaxed.

34 days until I move into my house and only 5 days left of post detox.



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'm funny.

At least I think I am. I have funny thoughts about silly things that will make me laugh.

Like, my inability to say 'Abnominally'. It always comes out wrong... and every time I say it I laugh. I never thought anything of this until Richard pointed out that I laugh hysterically at my own own flaw.

I have been know to lose focus while walking... I will focus on something small and forget I am in a crowd of business professionals. The other day I was walking to the gym and something on the floor caught my attention. I then started skipping from tile to tile trying to avoid the cracks. I am bouncing along for a good 2 minutes before I remember I am at the office of one of the biggest media companies in Canada, and I laugh at myself.

I have been known to break in giggle fits over things no one remembers. Like, the day Mat, my co-worker, was stretching after hurting his back the night before playing basketball... one good lunge and he tooted. I am giggling right now.

I am also funny in a non-haha way. Like, I hold my breath when I walk past ugly people because I don't want to smell their ugly. Or I eat only with plastic cutlery, because metal on my teeth makes me cringe. Funny in a way that people don't understand, but love me regardless.

I am funny.

Anyways the point of this blog was to mention the speed and angle of my mind is clearly different than most. And when I get on the scale (see I brought it back to 'fitness-ish') and I see a number I don't like (like the 3 pound gain from turkey indulgence) I think of the day that I was 20 pounds heavier and thrilled to see that number... I remember how it felt to be that size and then I have a little leniency for my slight gain. It's not a get out of jail free card, but a rationalization that I am human and I have flaws... most of which I can laugh at.


Monday, April 25, 2011

The day after...

I am a mess today... bloated and crampy, heavy and full. I went above and beyond yesterday to enjoy too much Easter. I cheated on Sunday with chocolate... it was bound to happen, its the chocolate holiday, its allowed.

Turkey dinner with my in-laws, was great... I didn't cheat with dinner, but I did eat A LOT! I mean 3 helpings of turkey, 2 baked sweet potatoes, a bushel of brocoli. I didn't have the gravy or the stuffing... I was good, until dessert.... warm chocolate chip cookie cookie with ice cream, drizzled with caramel sauce... I am only human!

It was so good, but I am feeling it today and based on the scale that splurge made me gain 3 pounds!! 3 POUNDS! That's insane... I am sure it is also because I ate a mountain of food right before bed (it was late dinner) and we're leading up to that time, when my body retains water and causes a muck.

So all and all... I feel ok with my weekend episodes... I am not proud and I am being accountable for my actions.

I will head to the gym today and run away from it all.

Wish me luck.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

I'm not sick!

YAY! I am finally not sick and actually starting to feel the benefits of this detox.

I feel great. That's it. I have no complaints, other than the mass amounts of work I have to do today.

The only known upset is the fear I am feeling about doing this alone and not being accountable to anyone anymore... based on my benefits package my next visit with Nicole will be my last until the next calendar when I have a new account to empty.

Wish my luck... I am 5 pounds away from my 20-10 resolutions and honestly I never thought I would get there. I am also 5 pounds away from going wedding dress shopping *girly squeal*.

I will keep at it and see what happens... who knows by the ends of next week I could do it.

I am hoping to get to step today... its always a calorie burner and I hope work allows me to go.

I have to run!


Monday, April 18, 2011

I am sick.

I have been sick for about a week. It started as a sore throat and grew into a congestion monster with fever and dizzy spells. And yea, I am at work.

I did take Friday off to recover, but it didn't seem to work and fell worse today. I have a great job, but I always feel guilty about taking a sick today... we work on accounts and my sick day means double the work for my co-workers and I like them, for the most part. So here I sit... using my lunch hour to type, since going to the gym didn't seem like the best use of time today.

I am sticking to my post detox... its easier than I thought. So easy I sometimes feel like I am cheating. Like right now, I am chowing down on cashews and they're great. Also with this snack was a cup or fresh pineapple. I don't feel deprived. In fact, I never feel deprived at work. I eat when I am hungry and its good. I do feel deprived at home when everyone around me is munching on snacks.... cupcakes... chips... cookies and sauces.

I think I miss cooking and baking the most... I miss being in the kitchen. Its hard to want to do all those things, when you can't eat it or taste it along the way, but I guess that is what got me into this mess... Nicole completely Dr.Phil'd me... with a 'If what you're doing isn't working, change.' She's right, but after 28 years of doing it my way its hard to conform... even more so because I hate being told what to do, but as I said to her as long as the scale goes down I will mindlessly follow direction.

On that note... the scale has gone down, actually it is lower than it has been in almost 3 years AND I am not only 7 pounds away from my overall goal for 2010... late yes, but better late than never.

I am good... sick, but satisfied.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011


The belt is back... yup the very same belt I mentioned nearly a year ago.

And the pants I am wearing today... the ones I bought 2 years ago, but never fit into. Yup, I am wearing them. Detox isn't all bad ;)

Day One...

I am getting the hang of this... finally. I actually had a satisfying dinner and am excited about my lunch. I am allowed a small amount of goat cheese everyday (1 ounce). I am going to abuse that right and eat goat cheese ALL THE TIME!

Last night I also quenched my thirst of bread... I found gluten-free, diary-free, sugar-free Millet loaf. It was alright... even good toasted with my scrambled eggs. It felt so good to sink my teeth in. I went to bed full... not just because I was congested, but because I had a full day of food and it felt good.

I think the underlying reason for all these food restrictions is to take food out of my every thought and make it JUST food. I can't focus on my diet because its not worth it... I don't dream about, drool about it or fantasize about it, but I think that's because swimming in a pool of chocolate is WAY better than a pool of gluten-free, sugar-free sludge. I am quickly becoming a person that eats to live and doesn't live to eat... a sad realization, but I am happy to make changes to be healthy.

I even powered through spinning yesterday. I survived the entire class and felt good. I haven't done that in weeks... now if I could just shake this stupid cold I would be good.

Vitamin C is my very best friend and the tropical fruit chewables are just like candy ;)

Another day...

Wish me Luck.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Or so I thought...

I met with  Nicole (my Naturopath, but I hate typing that word) last night. I am happy to say she was happy with my diet over the last 3 weeks. She was thrilled I stuck to it and was impressed by the diversity of my meal plans.

She followed up all the praise with... now we start the POST detox plan. This will take over the next 3 weeks. Its a lot of the same rules, but this time she has limited my portions AND limited my snacks. That being said I do get fruits back, natural sweeteners (honey, maple syrup) and lean beef. I am less regulated on my daily consumption, but I still can't have sugar, wheat or diary.

So I should feel better BUT I don't, because on top of giving up everything I love... I am sick. I have the worst sore throat I have ever had... and because of the pile of papers at  my desk. I am at work.

Oh yea and I get goat cheese... I don't know how I feel about that yet.

All of this is followed up with an appointment with a food... um... I think she is a food doctor, but I'm not sure. She will test over 250 foods with my system and let me know what I am truly allergic too.


Wish my luck.


Monday, April 11, 2011

DAY 22 and its over!

Whewf! I made it... at the very least Richard survived the entire ordeal.

I have a final appointment tonight to see just what it all means and I hope, for my doctors sake, I am not allergic to gluten. I miss bread SO much!

As for the Richard reference... I am lucky to have someone SO understanding.

Day FOUR... started like any other day, but after 4 hours of traffic and a never depleting inbox I was ready to explode on any creature that dared to cross my path. I came home looking for a fight... This is where I have to admit, Richard and I don't fight, but tonight I would make it happen.

He sat casually on the bed... simply playing Call of Duty. At first I said nothing, daring him to ask about my day, but he didn't. He was engulfed in his game, which made things worse. Why wasn't he paying attention to me? I barked at him about ignoring me. Than I barked about his response and when he wouldn't respond I yelled at him for not communicating with me. He sat and smiled as I ranted about everything in my life. I went on to explain I hated my life. I hated every detail of our life and honesty I was ready to walk in front of a bus. I am screaming at this point and still he says nothing. Finally, I told him he didn't love me and stormed out.

After he had fallen asleep I climbed into bed. Our first night without a goodnight kiss and cuddle. I still had steam coming out of my ears over his lack of enthusiasm during our fight.

Day FIVE... after the post was even worse. I wanted a cookie so badly I scoured the Internet for something I could make at home. It couldn't contain wheat, diary or sugar. A daring feat, but after hours of crying at my computer begging for a break I found a vegan recipe that just might work. I had also cried to my follow detoxer Cheryl about being SO HUNGRY. She suggested Rice noodles and Pesto. I hate pasta, but I was desperate. I sent a text to Richard trying to exude excitement about my cookie recipe. His replied described how he was enjoying an Oreo. I was still sucking up after Day FOUR and didn't reply the way I wanted to... instead I cried. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and spent $50 on specialty crap I needed to make these vegan cookies and this detox friendly dinner. They didn't have regular rice noodle so I got vermicelli noodles. They didn't have any fresh chicken so I go frozen chicken breast... and so on.

I came home ready to try out my new recipes... full of excitement over my new found treasures.

My cookies came out resembling cow pattys... only grosser.

My noodles had balled together, because you don't cook rice noodles the same as REAL noodles. My frozen chicken breast resembled a sponge when it was cooked and after dousing it all in pesto I realized this particular brand of pesto was made with cheese... I can't EAT cheese.

I threw out my cookies after demanding my mother in law taste them and calling her liar when she said they weren't THAT bad.

I marched upstairs to an awaiting Richard with my green ball of goo and sponge chicken. I didn't even make it into the room before I started weeping... uncontrollably. I couldn't be consoled. I couldn't catch my breath. I tried to explain the horror of my day, but Richard couldn't understand me and honestly he didn't hide his laughter all that well. I was a mess. He finally let me sit on his lap and there I sat crying for the next couple hours, before I finally fell asleep with an empty stomach.

This is why I hate detox... this is also why Richard is questioning going through pregnancy with me... poor guy didn't even see it coming.

I am almost done... it all comes to a close tonight and even though I know its going to make me sick... I am eating Oreo ice cream when I get home.

Wish me luck!