Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nutritionist and things...

They say its 80% diet and only 20% exercise. I hate ‘they’. I wish it was all exercise. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I hit the gym and I hit it hard, but it’s not up to me. And also if it were up to me, no Mondays, ice cream is added to the basic food groups and vegetables make you fat.

Last week I met with a Nutritionist.

I didn’t love it.

I hate being told I am wrong, even when I know I am wrong. I hate being doubted, even when I haven’t give you a reason to believe in me.

I am motivated by doubt, but I don’t like it.

Anyways. I am now working with a very patient Nutritionist. She reviewed my food journal, sent shocks through my body and weighed me. The conclusion. I am a hot mess, with 102lbs of body fat. Gah. What have I been doing at the gym the past 3 months??? Not building muscle. #obvi

She kept my weight a secret (mostly, I saw the number, but ignored it) and went over the test results. I am 40% fat. That’s a lot, like I am morbidly obese. I don’t feel morbidly obese. What do BMIs know anyways??? I have big freaking bones.

Not that it matters, because I am doing something about it, so its ok. It’s ok to start at the bottom, once you’ve found your bottom (regardless of what size your bottom is).

So I’m fat and I don’t want to be. What are we doing about it?

My fitness routine isn’t changing except I am adding a 45 minute walk to lunch hour to get on with the results. I will still do 3 days of cardio and 4 days of weights, plus life. Like running with the boy, walks to the park and sex (is anyone still reading my rambles?).

My diet is getting a complete overhaul. I didn’t think I was THAT terrible. I knew the rules and followed some of them, but it was the other things going on that screwed me. The sugary treats, the Tim Horton’s run and the late night snacking (Eff you DQ).

I eat too many grains. I eat too much sugar (natural and refined). I don’t eat enough protein. And there is some dirty toxin attacking and dehydrating my cells. I am so thirsty.

So I have a page of foods. Its one page and it is all I am allowed to consume. If it is not on the sheet, I can not eat #wordtoyourmother. I am also limited to 2 grains per day and 2 fruits per day (one banana is ALL my fruit for the day. All my fruit in a yellow tube). I MUST consume 3 proteins a day (I get a gold star if I consume more than 3) and one of those MUST be for breakfast.

I can eat all the vegetables I want #yeehaw.
I can’t have any processed sugar.
I made granola. Mmmm…
I have to eat PLAIN greek yogurt and am only allowed milk alternatives.
I have hemp hearts, chia seeds and simply bars.

And that’s it. My first weigh in is April 20th. Let’s see what we can do, prove the haters wrong and conquer that effing scale.

Wish me luck!


  1. Aww Mel, it's such a hard journey, it really is. I've had some interesting twists in mine since september! You can do it!! I have a book to recommend if you want it, my pilates instructor passed it to me and it helped me SO much. Keep your chin up and take it day by day... Or meal by meal.

  2. You've got this!! I'm here for you. Love ya!! You are amazing!