EIGHT DAYS!

I am an unreliable old fart. Argh!

Nothing much to discuss... I have been keeping up with the schedule, but the scale hasn't moved.

I have been sleeping more, but that's about it.

Fun things to come :)

Finally a step...

... Class!

I am a rare breed that freaking loves step! I love dancing along to music and bouncing all over the step. I like the rythym and flow of step, it's all fluent and predictable. There is no hang time to get bored, but lots of room for more.

I love it. 

I'm sweaty and about to have my THIRD shower of the day. Zac and I hiked in the heat and I woke up needing a shower... Now I need it worse than before.

Please god let the scale reflect my hard work this week. 

Pondering, a slippery slope...

Today I thought about the best (read:easiest) solution to all my problems and the only solution I came up with was to stop eating. Not only did this free up all the time spent chewing, swallowing and digesting, but the time to journal my calorie intake and the time to meal plan (read: stress about what the hell I can eat), meal prep, grocery shopping... All time given back to me on this plan.

PLUS I'd lose weight, it would be inevitable... No calories in, means a daily deficit, means weight loss and at this point who cares if it's water weight, fat, muscle or bone. This is how badly I want to be skinny. 

My growing mountain of debt and lack of employment wouldn't be a concern either. My grocery bill would drop, my gym membership cancelled. I wouldn't need a new wardrobe... 

The stress associated with all of the above would be gone and the daily disappoint of not losing and/or gaining weight would be over. 

Sounds like the perfect solution, but I'm too damn responsible and thick headed to do it. These are the actual thoughts I have running through my twisted mind as I battle everyday to get fit.

I know there is a difference between skinny and healthy, but I am almost beyond the point of caring. I can worry about being healthy after I lose 100lbs.

I'm also struggling to turn this post around and make it light and funny when it still seems like the best option... Just for a little while.