Tuesday, December 30, 2014

I quit.

I lost control of my life for a few months, that why I haven't been blogging. I had nothing to write, nothing to celebrate. I have been sad and disappointed in myself, because I haven't made the time to be healthy. I have come up with every excuse, but mostly exhaustion is why I haven't been keeping up. I get sad and than I curl up in a ball and will things to get better, but don't do anything. Then I eat. Then I gain weight which makes me sad and than I curl up in a ball... and you get the idea.

Its frustrating, because I watch it happening, but can't seem to stop myself as I indulge. And not just on holiday treats, but a bag of chocolate chips, because I had a long day or a blizzard because its the holiday. I took it easy at the gym, or skipped it completely, because I was just too busy, which is BS. I didn't miss any of my favorite TV shows, I wasn't too busy to sit on my bum and bloat. 


I feel like I do this every year... I lose momentum (which I usually keep for the first 9 months) and I get frustrated, but can't seem to find a new beginning, without a new beginning. Hear me out... I can't start in the middle of the week, or the middle of the month. I can't start in the middle of things... weird, right? Trust me I know. I have to start at logical times. Mondays, which already suck. The first of the month, the first of the year or the first day of my new job. Which is even weirder, because I have decided to start trying to be healthy today. Tuesday December 30th, which doesn't even make sense! Why all the craziness you ask? Well, today is my first day of true vacation. My first day NOT working for Rogers, NOT working in radio and NOT being a writer (at least not professionally). 

I quit. 

After 10years. I quit. 

It is terrifying to step out on a new limb. I have left radio to become an Administrative Assistant with an amazing consulting firm in Burlington. It's only 4 minutes from my house and barely 10 from Thomas.

But it is huge. It has taken all my energy to be ok with this transition and sadly that is the main reason I haven't been focused on anything else. 

It is also an amazing reason to start over, to get fresh, to be healthy and to be the best me possible. I don't have 12 hour days anymore or 4 hours of commuting a day. I have been given time and I want to use it to hit the gym and prepare real food... to selfishly focus on me for a little bit. This opportunity will nourish my mind, feed my need for a good challenge and let me explore who I want to be.


That's a lot for one post... and I lost focus half way through which only strengthens my argeument that I can't focus. Ha!

More to follow on how I intend to be healthy.

And of course there is a new years resolution coming your way!

Oh and smoothies!


1 comment:

  1. Dont worry Mel! YOU GOT THIS!!!! life is full of ups and downs....Stay positive :) XOXO