Where have I been?

At the gym.

Something has clicked the last couple weeks and I've been going to the gym 5 days a week. I don’t struggle to get up in the mornings anymore and I actually look forward the hustle of those mornings.

I have been struggling to feel ‘spent’. Do you know what I mean?? Like, a workout so intense and magnificent that you give EVERY THING you have to it. You barely waddle out and you know you couldn't have done any more. Spent. It’s satisfying and exhausting, but it garners results and when it doesn't you don’t care, because you gave all you had.

Well the last couple weeks I haven't been going to that level, I try to, I pretend to, but I just can’t get there. I think it’s my body giving up before my mind does. My mind is itching to go harder, faster and my body is like ‘give me a freakin’ break’.

I've also been asking my body to do ‘other things’, so I haven’t wanted to spend it all at the gym. I’m trying to jump two ditches. Or my pants won’t stay up, my sleeves won’t stay rolled and my shoes hurt my feet… all reasons I don’t spend it at the gym.

But this morning, I spent everything I had on this workout. I kicked, bounced and punched even after my body had given up I kept going. I am still sweaty and sore, but I know I couldn't have done more. That’s all I ever want… to know I did it all.

Now wish me luck on good news this week and we’ll keep at the spending.

Ding!