Maybe I like being FAT!

Maybe that's not true, but some days I don't care.

Some days I have NO control... Its like a lift out of my body and watch it devour EVERYTHING in its path. Last night (and the day before) were those kind of days. I didn't want to go to the gym, but did and followed detox rules all day, but when I got home the cravings became TOO much and I ate everything.

I didn't even feel disgusting or full afterwards, which is surreal and not very helpful and preventing me from doing it again.

I have all the tools to be successful, but my will power is seriously lacking. I have NO drive. I tried on the wedding dresses and looked stunning... no improvement needed, damn dresses.

I am going to muscle up at lunch and for a run this evening... let's hope something changes and I get back in the swing of things soon.

Love!