I think all my posts in the last few months have started the same. With a huge apology for not blogging more.
I just don't want to write the same thing... trying things and nothing is working. I suppose I haven't committed to anything it quite sometime. I try to do something and then something else gets in the way... typically finances. Buying a house is TOO MUCH money. Although that is assumed I hate how expensive vitamins, vegetables and organic food is. I really do feel better when I cut sugar, wheat and diary from my diet (I have been trying to re-detox for 3 weeks), but I can't afford all that goes with it.
Trying to consume only chicken (for protein) and veggies gets up there in price. All this while I am trying to be a good little house wife and prepare meals for the hubby (he can cook himself, but I enjoy doing it). Its proving to be too much.
I am such a people pleaser that I continue put the needs of everyone else above myself... which is what first got me into this mess.
Now today I am not eating healthy, but in all the hub bub of the weekend I didn't go grocery shopping... not to mention the lack of funds (due to another lay off). Its just stressful and all consuming. I feel like a bag of poo today... mainly because I spent two days saying "Fuck the diet". I feel dizzy and bloated, mean and confused. Its terrible, but I did it to myself and I need to sort it out and stop making excuses. I have 25 pounds to lose in 11 months... which doesn't seem unreasonable, but won't happen at this pace.
Smarten up! Sort it out!
ARGH! I want to punch myself in the face (but not really, because I have a mighty punch and a soft face ;)
PS - Less about fitness, more about life. Why is being a good person so much of a struggle? I mean not the be polite don't pee on your neighbours lawn (that is obvious), but the donate to charity, remember every special event in your friends lives, don't judge, never belittle your partner...
I should be supportive, but its harder than it looks.