Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I think I am getting the hang of this blogging thing.

Look... three days in a row and a NEW blog!


I went to the gym... having won (member of the month) I feel a little obligated to attend. Which, I suppose is a good thing, but my heart isn't in it this week. Kerry was away so, no spinning (her replacement doesn't work for me). So I changed up my muscle work (to Tuesday) and my spinning (to Wednesday). Fine, no problem, but I go to spin today after weights yesterday and the same replacement is in charge. Argh. That's three days of elliptical. Let's hope Angela is here tomorrow, because I need a good STEP beating!

I also read an interesting blog this morning... thanks to the! community (which my Mum is now a part of and doing well). Its written by a Nutritionist (I believe). It's called Why She Eats. It's stories about food relationships. I found it fascinating, because I have always had a complex relationship with food (my biggest health blunder... if I enjoy it, it is bad for me. If I hate it, it is good for me... not true). This blog was a great read through case studies. It confused me, because I fit into a few of the categories.

Food is my Obsession - I think about it all the time, when I will eat, where it will come from, what I will crave and even what it will cost. I constantly search online for recipes and creep restaurant sites to pre-plan my meals out.

Food is my Reward - I can make anything a reason to celebrate. Its always a worthy excuse. I will indulge after an amazing day, conquering a stressful day or even having a good workout (which makes NO SENSE at ALL!).

Food is the Enemy - I hate eating it, consuming it and the heavy 'full' feeling I get after consuming it. I was that little kid sitting at a table being told to clear my plate. I get anxious when I eat and believe every crumb will make me fat.

Food is an Adventure - Its the only thing in my life I can control (or ever could). I also sneak around behind closed doors binging and purging (not so much anymore, but I have). I get a thrill from having the secret. I also LOVE food... I love trying new things in the kitchen, new recipes, new restaurants.

Food is a Weakness - I sneak food... I find is comforting and my first instinct when I am alone is to raid the kitchen. Of sound mind I will eat an entire chocolate cake (again, not recently... although I did have a rather large piece last night). I will tell myself it is wrong, as I am doing it. I will tell myself it undoes all I have worked for, yet I don't stop.

I guess that is the point... we are all different with our own issues to work out. I just hate food hate the relationship I have with food. I feel like there is no way to EAT and LOSE weight... my current physique is the perfect example of that. I never eat over my daily calories. I work out 6 days a week. I sleep 8 hours a night (or more). I drink incredible amounts of water. I am educated on how the body works. I take vitamins. And every day I gain a little bit more. I was at my lightest when I was 19 and starving myself for days on end.

How can you argue the workable past????

OK... things got a little too deep for this blog.
Here is moose.

To make things light again ;)

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