Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I am trying.

I am trying SO hard! I feel like I can't get on track. I did the worst thing possible and started the SlimFast 1-2-3 diet... I know. Its a fit persons nightmare, because it is NOT the healthiest form of weight loss, but I have to do something. I am losing ALL motivation. I still go to the gym everyday. I still push myself during cardio AND strength training. I still want this SO bad I can taste... and it tastes SO good.

Hunger = Success

And I am incredibly hungry. I opted for Breakfast Shake, Lunch Shake and healthy Dinner. I like cooking/eating with Richard. Its our bonding time... we dance around the kitchen to prepare a meal and then huddle around the table for a re-cap of our day. The only thing MORE important than getting skinny is loving him.

I am on day two and as above I am hungry, but its worth it. I want to drop 5 pounds before the end of the year in 8 weeks. That is VERY reasonable. Although I have NO way to measure right now... my scale is on the fritz. It told me I gained 15 pounds this morning... I don't even believe it. So I am going to keep working, because it will seem that much sweeter when I weigh myself in 3 weeks and I am down. Down from what... I don't know, because I haven't been able to weigh in for 2 weeks. My jeans are lose and I am on the last boot loop, but that's the only way I can measure right now.

I still wish I could be happy being me at any size, but the likelihood of that happening is VERY slim. I can't wait to be pregnant... I think it will be the only time in my life I will LOVE my body.

Sorry I haven't been updating daily... just feeling down and defeated about the whole thing.


1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel, hunger is the hardest thing for me. I have replaced one meal with a protein shake but I still focus on snacking in between. I keep cucumbers handy, celery with a little peanut butter for protein and nuts. Almonds are fabulous. If you are hungry that is your body saying it needs more.
    You should applaud yourself for staying fit and keeping your weight off. I just started so am motivated by all you have done. Good luck and if you need support feel free to let me know. We gotta help each other out and it's OK to get frustrated, just don't let it keep you down. You are doing great, keep it up.