Friday, January 16, 2015

Come on, Melanie! Fuck.

On to the next ‘idea’… why I can’t just exercise and eat well is beyond me, but I like challenges, I set goals… it is just who I am.

I am going to measure everything (weight, body fat %, Waist, Hips, Chest, Arms, Legs with pictures*barf*) tonight and update this post… Enough monkeying around. I need to light a fire under my ass and get on with this getting healthy.

Come on, Melanie! Get it together! Fuck.

I am working on a Health & Safety Minute for work (I post every Monday) this week I am writing about ‘Your health and the office, what to do when your resolution has failed’, but it has gotten me all FIRED UP about my own failings.

So I am taking part of my own advice and posting my motivation.
She is hot as BALLS and I want to use her to push myself… I will look like that (I am being VERY optimistic) because believing you can achieve it is half of the process (I don’t necessarily BELIEVE that).

I also downloaded an Interval Timer App. It will beep every 30 minutes to tell me to get off my ass; to stand, stretch or go for a walk. My plan is to head down the stairs and back up (just one flight, but enough to get the blood flowing).

Kat also friended me on my Fitbit and I have challenged her. I must win. So I need to up my daily steps… which the stairs should help with.

My water intake… needs to increase, one of my 30-minute walks will be to refill the water bottle, but that means I must drink the water before I can refill the water.

And I vow to you and to my son (because I love my readers BUT a promise to Thomas is a blood oath) to use the Loseit! app and to stick with it. I want to lose 30lbs by my birthday. I have 3 months; 10lbs a month, 2lbs a week. This is completely feasible. 
I also am going to work to eat my dinner with Thomas and nothing more after he has gone to bed. I am ALL ABOUT snacking in the evening, but nothing healthy ever happens after 7pm.

I am off this restricting wheat thing… restrictions don’t work (as previously posted I hate being told what not to do). Everything in moderation. I need to work with the Loseit! app, I can even have cookies with the app as long as I have room in my daily calorie allowance which is 1600.

Gah! The timer just dinged… 30 minutes has passed already.

I chose the stairs this round, but as I jogged down the steps I noticed a person sitting on the step. Watching me. So I ducked into the bathroom and hung out in there for 20 seconds (I counted) before I popped back out and jogged up the stairs.

This is going to be weird and take a bit of getting used too.

10:38a – Phone dings, lock computer (that also dings), leave office (that dings), jog stairs, duck into bathroom (that gratefully doesn't ding), count to 20, jog upstairs, return to office (door dings), unlock computer (that dings).

Everything dings!! And my office is SUPER quiet with every sound echoing. All this dinging is going to garner some questions.

On that note… let’s abandon this post on a funny note.


We have no sound proofing. You can hear EVERYTHING.

So I am sitting up at my desk, its ultra-quiet. I feel a little rumble and think I can let out a little pressure, but then I lose control of things and fart. Extra loud.

There is NO recovery… I can’t go around the corner and ask ‘Hey did you hear that?’… I am wondering if it sounded enough like a chair squeak that I don’t have to blush, but I am already blushing I can feel it.

And also… my cheeked are more clenched than ever before.


And my measurements *face palm*

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