Monday, December 5, 2011


I have a serious case of the Mondays (holiday Mondays are WAY worse than every other Monday that isn't in December) I really thought I wouldn't hate Christmas this year, but oh yes I do. I find it stressful and overwhelming... I have had a migraine for 4 days. So I hate myself for this, but I am not going for a run. I am not going because my head hurts, I have tons of work to do and I have Doctors appointment this afternoon... so I don't want to be all sweaty. I also have an insanely long day because of above doctors appointment and probably won't get dinner (I have sent Richard to a friends house... I sound like a Mom... not his Mom, just a Mom. For reference visit my wedding blog listed below) I just want to go home and go to sleep... the perk to stress, frustration and anger is no appetite. So I am not too worried.

As for the stress, which scares me, its wedding planning, an overbearing Mother-in-law, Christmas, Dad and work... the reason it scares me is because I never used to be this stressed about my world, but suddenly I am not allowed to make any of my own decisions and I start having a panic attack. I hate having to consult someone for everything I do, all day every day. Even scarier, if I am this stressed out now... what about when I do have kids?!??! I don't want to be one of those HIGH strung out mothers.

It all relates to fitness because I can't work out when I am stressed and I want to avoid everyone and everything so I tend to hide out in bed and get fat... yes, that is still possible while starving; at least in my world.

I also recently learned almost everything that ails me is stress related... when will it end? After the wedding? I wish... I doubt it, I will always have the mother in law issues. Argh (no 'hmpf' today while the groom and I are bickering.)

As for the doctors appointment... its to get an ultrasound of my thyroid, things aren't working right and its time to fix them, although the timing is crap.

Sorry there was no advent doodle yesterday... I can't be creative when I am angry (more so than today).


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