Friday, December 9, 2011


Sandwiches. Are. Awesome.

They are even MORE awesome when someone else (not a paid employee... they do it wrong) makes it for you (I mean like Subway or Mr. Sub, not that I have employees' especially sandwich making employees, I wish.)

Richard made my lunch today (he would have to train my employees), because I made his dinner last night... they were the same thing --- sandwiches. Once and a while we will have a sandwich night... not the little-piddly sandwiches made with bread and mayo, but the-fresh-buns-cold-cuts-and-lettuce-special-shopping-trip kind of sandwiches that are our favorites.

Now the problem with Sandwiches is they end... its always sad when you get to the last bite and cry because the goodness, that is this perfect sandwich, is about to end and there is nothing you can do to prolong it, unless you save the last bite, but than the you now doesn't get to eat the sandwich and everyone loses; future you and now you.

What was in my magic sandwich you ask? I will share its beauty. It started with a fresh onion bun, I cut a slice out of the middle to help with the ratios, then I spread a thin layer of butter on each side followed by a squirt of honey mustard, first the meat lies on the bottom bun, its honey maple turkey breast and, here's a tip, always lots of meat... sometimes you get a sandwich with one slice and its such a disappointment. The layers are important, after the meat you add the cheese, today deli cut Havarti and then the crisp iceberg lettuce and another squirt of honey mustard. The top layer of mustard works more as glue that flavor contributor, but that's ok. Then you pile on the top bun and slice it down the middle. So good.

This reminds me of a dumb conversation with the food hoarder (and fat guy) in my office....

"I developed a new way to slice sandwiches." He was talking to someone other than me... we don't like each other.

"Pardon." I say with a tight smile - I really hate this guy.

"I was just telling Dave about the improvement I have made to sandwich cutting." He says reluctantly.

"And what's that?" I can't help myself.

"So you make a sandwich like normal and then when you go to slice it --- you move the knife over and make a 60/40 cut." He pauses for dramatic affect, his eyes are wide and his head is bobbing. "Then you eat the small half and when you done its like BAM 'I have all this sandwich left' because you still have the 60 side left." He leans back in his chair, crosses his arms over his big rolling belly and smiles.

I don't have a response. I turn around in my chair and start typing. No one tries to further the conversation. Now sandwiches are kind of ruined, because every time I eat one I think of the fat guy at work and it does something gross to my appetite.

I should clarify... he is not the cute, round, jolly fat man stories have told us to expect. He is sweaty, gross and condescending (which has little to do with his weight, but a lot to do with why we don't get along.) Oh and he loves the rub and tug, which has ruined massages for me; like sandwiches.

Let's pull it back... my sandwich today was awesome and I didn't even remember to be grossed out until I started writing this post, but my sandwich is safely digesting so its good.

I went to the gym. First time in a week (not included the trip down where I forgot my bra) it sucked. I don't understand how my body works... one week off and I am sore and tired. I just went on the elliptical (with my book) and still I was exhausted like I ran a marathon. I have heard that hypothyroidism affects muscle memory and muscle growth... that could be why I feel so sluggish when I skip the gym. Hmm... I will ask my doctor at my follow up, which has to be soon.

I burned 500 calories... I am ok with that. I am going to run on Sunday and start week 3 on Monday. Wish me luck.

Happy Weekend... you might hear from me, but don't count on it.


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